Conclusion of How Can Fathers Stay Close to Their Sons? -Build His Self-Confidence

"Look, Daddy, look!"  Did your little boy shout something like that to you when he mastered a new skill?  If he is now a teenager, does he still seek your approval so openly?  Maybe not. But he definitely  needs it if he is to grow into a well-balanced adult.

Note the example that Jehovah God himself set in dealing with one of his sons. When Jesus was about to begin a special phase of his life on earth, God publicly expressed his affection for him, saying:  "This is my Son, the beloved, whom I have approved." (Matthew 3:17; 5:48) True, you have an obligation to discipline and teach your son.  (Ephesians 6:4) But do you also look for opportunities to express approval for the good things he says and does?

Some men find it a challenge to express approval and affection. They may have grown  up in families where their parents emphasized mistakes rather than achievements. If that is true in your case, you will need to make a conscious effort to build your son's self-confidence. How could you do so?  Luca, quoted earlier, regularly works with his 15-year-old son, Manuel, as they do household chores.  "Sometimes," says Luca, "I tell Manuel to start a task by himself and that I will help him if he needs me. Most of the time, he manages the job on his own. His successes give him satisfaction and boosts his self-confidence. When he succeeds, I commend him. When he doesn't do as well as he hoped, I still let him know that I appreciate his effort."

You can also boost your son's self-confidence by helping him reach larger goals in life.  (Note: A daughter also needs her father to build her self-confidence, not just her mother)  What, though, if your son reaches goals more slowly than you wish? Or what if his goals, though not bad, are different from ones that you would choose for him?  In that case, you may need to reassess your expectations. Jacques, quoted earlier, says:  "I try to help my son set achievable goals.  But I also  try to make sure that they are his goals, not mine. Then I remind myself that he need to work toward  his objectives at his own pace." If you listen to your son's opinions, commend his strengths, and encourage him to overcome his failures, you will help him to reach his goals.

Realistically, your relationship will have its strains and challenges. But in the long run, your son will likely want to remain close to you. After all, who does not want to stay close to someone who helps him succeed?

Next time: Fulfilling Our Obligation to God

From the Watchtower magazine, 2011