HELP FOR THE FAMILY/MARRIAGE-How to Compromise

WHAT YOU SHOULD KNOW

Compromise requires teamwork.  Before marriage, you might have been accustomed to making unilateral decisions.  Now things have changed, and both you and your spouse must put your marriage above your personal  preferences.  Rather than think of that as a drawback, consider the advantage.  "The ideas of two people combined can lead to a solution that is better than what each one could come up with alone," says a wife named Alexandra.

Compromise requires an open mind.  "You don't have to agree with everything your spouse says or believes, but you have to be honestly  open to considering his or her position," writes marriage  counselor John M. Gottman.   "If you find yourself sitting with your arms folded and shaking your head no (or just thinking it) when your spouse is trying to talk out a problem with you, your discussion will never get anywhere." 

Compromise requires self-sacrifice.  No one enjoys living with a spouse who believes "it's either my way or the highway."  It is far better when both partners have a self-sacrificing disposition.  "There are times when I yield to my husband to make him happy, but at times he does the same for me," says a wife named June.  "That's what marriage should be about-give and take, not just take." 

Next time: Conclusion of HELP FOR THE FAMILY/MARRIAGE - WHAT YOU CAN DO

From the AWAKE! magazine, 2014