How to Explain Death

"Some researchers say that when talking to a"child about death, parents should be careful about using such terms as "sleeping," "lost," or "gone away."  Using such expressions without explaining or qualifying them may confuse a young child. Of course, Jesus used sleep as an illustration for death and fittingly so. Remember, though,  that he was not speaking to children. Further, he explained the illustration, Jesus told his followers:  "Lazarus our friend has gone to rest."    The  disciples, grown-ups though they were "imagined [Jesus] was speaking about taking rest in sleep."  So Jesus clarified the matter. "Lazarus has died." (John 11:11-14) If adults such clear explanations, how much more so do our children!

"A parent may to soften her language when explaining death to her child," say authors Mary Ann Emswiler and James P. Emswiler, "but by doing so, she may plant ideas in his head that weren't there before and that may be frightening or harmful."  For instance, simply tell a young child that  a deceased loved one is only sleeping may cause the child to fear that if he goes to sleep at night, he may not wake up again. If told only that a deceased loved one has  "gone away," a young child may feel rejected or abandoned. 

When trying to explain death to a child, may parents have found that children understand simple, direct words more readily than they do abstract concepts or euphemisms.  (1 Corinthians 14:9)  Researchers  recommend that you encourage your child to ask questions and talk about his concerns. Frequent conversations  may help you to clear up misunderstandings and could reveal other ways to assist your child. 

Next time: A Reliable Source of Guidance 

From the Watchtower magazine, 2008