SEVEN THINGS YOU NEED TO KNOW ABOUT PRAYER

(4) PRAYER-What About?

IT HAS been called the most widely repeated of all Christian prayers.  Whether that is true or not, Jesus' model prayer-sometimes called the Lord's Prayer or the Our Father-is certainly among the most misunderstood. Millions of people utter its words by rote every day. perhaps often during the day.  But Jesus never intended for the prayer to be used in that way. How do we know?   Just before that prayer, Jesus said:  "When praying, do not say the same things over and over again."  (Matthew 6:7)   Did Jesus proceed to contradict himself by laying down a set of words to be memorized and repeated?  Surely not!  Rather, Jesus was teaching us what to pray about, and he was giving us a clear set of priorities to keep mind when praying. Let us take a closer look at what he said;  The prayer is recorded at Matthew 6:9-13 .

"Our Father who art in heaven, let thy name, Jehovah be sanctified." 

Jesus thus reminded his followers that all prayers should be directed to his Father, Jehovah.  But do you know why God's name is so important and why it needs to be sanctified, or made holy?

From the beginning of human history, God's  sacred name has been smeared with lies.  God's adversary, Satan, has called Jehovah  a lying, selfish Ruler who has no real right to govern His creations.  (Genesis 3:1-6) Many have sided with Satan, teaching that God is cold, cruel, and vindictive or denying that he is the Creator of all. Others have even attacked his name itself, removing the name Jehovah from Bible translations and forbidding the use of it.

The Bible shows that God will rectify all these injustices.  (Ezekiel 39:7) By doing so, he will address your every need and problem as well. How so?  The next words in Jesus' prayer provide the answer.

"Let your Kingdom come." 

Today, there is so much confusion among religious teachers about God's Kingdom.  But as Jesus' listeners knew, God's prophets had long foretold that the Messiah, a Savior chosen by God, would rule a Kingdom that would change the world.  (Isaiah 9:6, 7; Daniel 2:44) It will sanctify God's name by exposing Satan's lies and then overthrowing Satan and all his works.  God's Kingdom will put an end to war, sickness, famine-even death itself.  (Psalm 46:9; 72:12-16; Isaiah 25:8; 33:24) When you pray for God's Kingdom  to come, you are praying for all those promises to come true.

"Let your will be done, on earth as it is in heaven." 

Jesus' words suggest  that God's will has proved unstoppable in heaven, there, God's Son waged war against Satan and his cohorts, casting them down to the earth.  (Revelation 12:9-12) This petition of the model prayer, like the first two, helps us to keep our focus on what matters most-not our own will, but God's. It is his will that always brings about the greatest good for all creation. Thus, even the perfect man Jesus said to his Father: "Let not my will, but yours be done." -Luke 22:42.

 Next time: SEVEN THINGS YOU NEED TO KNOW ABOUT PRAYER/Conclusion of (4) PRAYER-What About?

From the Watchtower magazine 

SEVEN THINGS YOU NEED TO KNOW ABOUT PRAYER

(3) Conclusion of  PRAYER-How?

To pray in harmony with God's will, we need to know what his will is. Study of the Bible, then, is an essential ingredient of prayer. Does this mean that God will refuse to hear us unless we are Bible scholars?  No, but God expects us to look for his will, seeking to understand it and to act on it.  (Matthew 7:21-23) We need to pray in harmony with what we learn.

As we learn about Jehovah and his will, we grow in faith-another vital factor in prayer, having faith, you will receive."  (Matthew 21:22) Faith does not mean gullibility.  Rather, it means believing in something that even though unseen, is supported by very strong evidence.  (Hebrews 11:1)  The Bible is packed with evidence that Jehovah, whom we cannot see, is real, is reliable, and is willing to answer the prayers of those who have faith in him.  Furthermore, we can always ask for more faith, and Jehovah loves to give us what we need. - Luke 17:5; James 1:17.

Here is  yet another essential aspect of how to pray.  Jesus said:  "No one comes to the Father except through me."  (John 14:6)  So Jesus is the means of our approach to the Father,Jehovah.  Thus, Jesus told his followers to pray in his name.  (John 14:13; 15:16)  That does not mean that we should pray to Jesus. Rather, we pray in the name of Jesus, remembering that Jesus is the reason that we are able to approach our perfect and holy Father.  Jesus' closest followers once asked him: "Lord, teach us how to pray." (Luke 11:1) Evidently, hey were not asking about such basics as we have just discussed.  They really wanted to know about content-in effect saying 'What should we pray about? 

Next time: SEVEN THINGS  YOU NEED TO KNOW ABOUT PRAYER/ (4) PRAYER-What About?

From the Watchtower magazine 

SEVEN THINGS YOU NEED TO KNOW ABOUT PRAYER

(3) PRAYER-How?

WHEN it comes to prayer, many religious traditions focus on physical issues, such as posture, wording, and ritual. However, the Bible helps us to set such issues aside and focus on more important aspects of the question, "How should we pray?"

The Bible depicts faithful servants of God as praying in many settings and postures. They prayed silently or aloud as the circumstances dictated.  They prayed while looking up at the sky or while bowing down. Rather than using images, beads, or prayer books as aids in prayer, they simply prayed from the heart in their own words. What made their prayers effective?

As mentioned in the preceding article, they directed their prayers only to one God-Jehovah.  There is another important factor. We read at 1 John 5:14: "This is the confidence that we have toward him, that, no matter what it is that we ask according to his will, he hears us."   Our prayers need to be in harmony with God's will.  What does that mean?

Next time: Conclusion of PRAYER-How?

From the Watchtower magazine

SEVEN THINGS YOU NEED TO KNOW ABOUT PRAYER

Conclusion of (2) PRAYER-To Whom?

Baal, meaning "owner" or "master," was the god of the Canaanites, and there were many local versions of this deity.  Jehovah, however, is a unique name, applying only to one Personage in all the universe.  This God told his people:  "I am Jehovah.  That is my name; and to no one else shall I give my own glory." -Isaiah 42:8.

Did Elijah's prayer and the prayers of those Baal prophets go to the same place? Baal worship degraded  people with ritual prostitution and even human sacrifice.  In contrast, the worship of Jehovah ennobled his people, Israel, freeing them from such degrading practices.  So think about it: If you specifically addressed a letter to a highly respected friend, would you expect it to be delivered to someone who did not bear your friend's name and whose vile reputation contradicted everything your friend stood for? Surely not!

If you pray to Jehovah, you are praying to the Creator, the Father of mankind.  "You, O Jehovah, are our Father," said the prophet Isaiah in prayer.  (Isaiah 63:16) This, then, is the very One whom Jesus Christ  spoke when he told his followers:  "I am ascending to my Father and your Father and to my God and your God."  (John 20:17)   Jehovah is Jesus' Father.  He is the God to whom Jesus prayed and to whom Jesus taught his followers to pray. -Matthew 6:9.

 Does the Bible instruct us to pray to Jesus, to Mary, to saints, or to angels?  No-only to Jehovah.  Consider two reasons why. First, prayer is a form of worship, and the Bible says that worship should go exclusively to Jehovah.  (Exodus 20:5)  Second, the Bible reveals that he bears the title "Hearer of prayer."  (Psalm 65:2) Although Jehovah delegates  generously, this is a responsibility he has never passed on to anyone.  He is the God who promises to hear our prayers personally.  

So if you want your prayers to be heard by God, remember this Scriptural admonition:  "Everyone who calls on the name of Jehovah will be saved."  (Acts 2:21) But does Jehovah hear all prayers unconditionally?  Or is there anything else we need to know if we want our prayers to Jehovah to be heard?

Next time: SEVEN THINGS YOU NEED TO KNOW ABOUT PRAYER/ (3)  PRAYER-How?

From the Watchtower magazine 

SEVEN THINGS YOU NEED TO KNOW ABOUT PRAYER

(2) PRAYER-To Whom?

DO ALL prayers go to the same place, regardless of who is being addressed?  In today's world, it is often popular to assume so.  The notion appeals to many who favor interfaith movements and want all religions to be acceptable, despite their differences. Is it possible, though,that the idea is untrue?

the Bible teaches that a great many prayers are, in fact, misdirected.  Back when the Bible was written, it was common for people to direct  their prayers to carved images. Yet, God repeatedly warned against that practice. For example, Psalm 115:4-6 says about idols:  "Ears they have, but they cannot hear."  The point is clear.  Why pray to a god who will never hear you?

A vivid Bible account enlarges on this point.  The true prophet Elijah challenged the  the prophets of Baal to pray to their god, after which Elijah would pray to his. Elijah said that the true God would answer and the false one would not.  Accepting the challenge, the Baal prophets prayed long and hard, even with  loud outcries-but to no avail!  The account reads: "There was no one answering, and there was no paying of attention."  (1 Kings 18:29)  How, though, did Elijah fare? 

After Elijah prayed, his God answered instantly, sending fire from heaven t consume an offering that Elijah had set out. What was the difference?  There is one vital clue in Elijah's prayer itself, recorded at 1 Kings 18:36, 37. It is a very short prayer-there are only about 30 words in the original Hebrew.  Yet, in those few lines, Elijah three times addressed God by his personal name, Jehovah. 

Next time: SEVEN THINGS YOU NEED TO KNOW ABOUT PRAYER/Conclusion of (2)  PRAYER-To Whom? 

From the Watchtower magazine 

SEVEN THINGS YOU NEED TO KNOW ABOUT PRAYER

PRAYER-Why?

Consider: Have you ever yearned for guidance, wisdom, or answers to questions that seem beyond the reach of human knowledge?  Have you ever felt in need of comfort when wounded by a terrible loss, of guidance when faced with an agonizing decision, or of forgiveness when crushed by guilt?

According to the Bible, those are all valid reasons to pray.  The Bible is the most reliable book on this subject, and it contains a record of the prayers of the many faithful men and women. They prayed for comfort, for guidance, for forgiveness, and for answers to the hardest of questions. -Psalm 23:3; 71:21; Daniel 9:4, 5, 19; Habakkuk 1:3.

Such prayers, varied though they were, had something in common.  The ones praying each possessed a vital key to successful prayer, one that is often lost or disregarded in today's world.  They knew to whom prayers should be directed. 

Next time: SEVEN THINGS YOU NEED TO KNOW ABOUT PRAYER/(2) PRAYER-To Whom?

From the Watchtower magazine 

SEVEN THINGS YOU NEED TO KNOW ABOUT PRAYER

PRAYER-Why?

Consider: Have you ever yearned for guidance, wisdom, or answers to questions that seem beyond the reach of human knowledge?  Have you ever felt in need of comfort when wounded by a terrible loss, of guidance when faced with an agonizing decision, or of forgiveness when crushed by guilt?

According to the Bible, those are all valid reasons to pray.  The Bible is the most reliable book on this subject, and it contains a record of the prayers of the many faithful men and women. They prayed for comfort, for guidance, for forgiveness, and for answers to the hardest of questions. -Psalm 23:3; 71:21; Daniel 9:4, 5, 19; Habakkuk 1:3.

Such prayers, varied though they were, had something in common.  The ones praying each possessed a vital key to successful prayer, one that is often lost or disregarded in today's world.  They knew to whom prayers should be directed. 

Next time: SEVEN THINGS YOU NEED TO KNOW ABOUT PRAYER/(2) PRAYER-To Whom?

From the Watchtower magazine 

SEVEN THINGS YOU NEED TO KNOW ABOUT PRAYER

PRAYER.  There are few Bible subjects that elicit so much interest and curiosity. Consider seven commonly asked questions about prayer; then join us in examining the answers provided in the Bible.  These articles are designed to help you pray-to begin praying or to make your prayers more effective.


(1)  PRAYER-Why? 

AROUND the world, in every culture and religion, people pray.  They pray when they are alone; they pray in groups. They pray in churches, in temples, in synagogues, in mosques, at shrines.  They may use prayer rugs, rosary beads, prayers wheels, icons, prayer books, or prayers written on small boards that they hang on racks. 

Prayer sets humans apart from all other life on this earth. Granted, we have much in common with animals. Like them, we need food, air, and water. Like them, we are both born, we live, and we die.  (Ecclesiastes 3:19)  But only humans pray. Why?

Perhaps the simplest answer is that we need to.  Prayer, after all, is generally seen as a way for people to reach out to the spirit realm, to something they view as holy, or sacred, and eternal.  The Bible shows that we were made with an appetite for such things.  (Ecclesiastes 3:11) Jesus Christ once said:  "Happy are those conscious of their spiritual need." -Matthew 5:3. 

A "spiritual need"-how else could one explain all those religious edifices and artifacts, all those countless hours spent in prayer?  Of course, some people look to themselves or to their fellow humans to fill spiritual needs.  Do you not sens, though, that humans are just too limited to help adequately? (Note: Yes, I do, because we are imperfect sinful humans and are not qualified to fill those needs)  We are so frail, short-lived, shortsighted. Only someone far wiser, more powerful, more enduring than we are can give us what we need. And just what are these spiritual needs that drive us to pray?  

 Next time:Conclusion of  SEVEN THINGS YOU NEED TO KNOW ABOUT PRAYER/PRAYER -Why?

From the Watchtower magazine 

Conclusion of JUDGMENT DAY-WHAT IS IT?

During that thousand-year period, Jesus Christ will "judge the living and the dead." (2 Timothy 4:1)  "The living" will be "the great crowd" that survives Armageddon.  (Revelation 7:9-17)  The apostle John also saw "the dead . . . standing before the throne" of judgment.  As Jesus promised, "those in the memorial tombs will hear [Christ's] voice and come out" by means of a resurrection.  (John 5:28, 29; Acts 24:15) But on what basis will all be judged?

According to the apostle John's vision, "scrolls were opened," and "the dead were judged out of those things written in the scrolls  according to their deeds."  (Revelation 20:12) Are these scrolls the record of people's past deeds?  No, the judgment will not focus on what people did before they died.  How do we know that? The Bible says:  "The one who has died has been acquitted  from his sin."  (Romans 6:7)  Those resurrected ones thus come to life with a clean slate, so to speak.  The scrolls must therefore represent God's further requirements.  To live forever, both Armageddon survivors and resurrected ones will have to obey God's commandments, including whatever new requirements Jehovah might reveal during the thousand years.  Thus, individuals will be judged on the basis of what they do during Judgment Day. 

Judgment day will give billions of people their first opportunity to learn about God's will and to conform to it.  This means that a large-scale educational work will take place.  Indeed,  'the inhabitants of the land will learn about righteousness.' (Isaiah 26:9)  However, not all will be willing to conform to God's will.  Isaiah 26:10 says: "Even if the wicked is shown favor, he will not learn righteousness. Even in the land of uprightness he will act wickedly, and he will not see the majesty of Jehovah."  These wicked ones will be put to death permanently during Judgment Day. -Isaiah 65:20. 

By the end of Judgment day, surviving humans will have "come to life" fully as perfect humans.  (Revelation 20:5) Judgment Day will thus see the restoration of mankind to its original state.  (1 Corinthians 15:24-28) Then a final test will take place.  Satan will be released from his imprisonment and allowed to try to mislead mankind one last time. (Revelation 20:3, 7-10) Those who resist him will enjoy the complete fulfillment of the Bible's promise:  "The righteous will possess  the earth, and they will live forever on it.  (Psalm 37:29) Yes, Judgment Day will be a blessing to all faithful mankind! 

Next time:SEVEN THINGS YOU NEED TO KNOW ABOUT PRAYER/ PRAYER-Why?

From the Jehovah's Witness publications 

JUDGMENT DAY-WHAT IS IT?

HOW do you picture Judgment Day?  Many think that one by one, billions of souls will be brought before the throne of God.  There, judgment will be passed on each individual.  Some will be rewarded with heavenly bliss, and others will be condemned to eternal torment. However, the Bible paints quite a different picture of this period of time. God's Word portrays it, not as a terrifying time, but as a time of hope and restoration.  (Note: Not for the wicked it isn't) 

At Revelation 20:11,12, we read the apostle John's description of Judgment Day:  "I saw a great white throne and the One seated on it.  From before him the earth and the heaven fled away, and no place was found for them. And I saw the dead, the great and the small, standing before the throne, and the scrolls were opened. But another scroll was opened it was the scroll of life. The dead were judged out of those things written in the scrolls according to their deeds."  Who is the Judge described here?

Jehovah God is the ultimate judge of mankind. However, he delegates the actual work of judging. According to Acts 17:31, the apostle Paul said that God "has set a day on which he purposes to judge the inhabited earth in righteousness by a man whom he has appointed."  This appointed Judge is the resurrected Jesus Christ.  (John 5:22) When, though, does Judgment Day begin?  How long does it last?

The book of Revelation shows that Judgment Day begins after the war of Armageddon, when Satan's system on earth will be destroyed. (Revelation 16:14, 16; 19:19-20:3)  After Armageddon, Satan and his demons will be imprisoned in an abyss for a thousand years. During that time, the 144,000  heavenly joint heirs will be judges and will rule "as kings with Christ for 1,000 years."  (Revelation 14:1-3; 20:1-4; Romans 8:17) Judgment Day is not some hurried even lasting a mere 24 hours.  It lasts a thousand years. 

Next time: Conclusion of: JUDGMENT DAY-WHAT IS IT? 

From the Jehovah's Witnesses publications 

Securing a Lasting Future for Your Family

Jesus was raised in a godly family and, as an adult, showed a son's proper concern for his mother. (Luke 2:51, 52; John 19:26) However, Jesus' prime objective was to fulfill God's will, and for him this included opening up the way for humans to enjoy everlasting life.  This he did when he offered his perfect human life as a ransom for sinful mankind. -Mark 10:45; John 5:28, 29. 

After Jesus' death, Jehovah raised him to heavenly life and gave him great authority, eventually installing him as King in the heavenly Kingdom.  (Matthew 28:18; Romans 14:9; Revelation 11:15) Jesus' sacrifice made it possible for some humans to be selected to rule with him in that Kingdom. It also opened the way for the rest of the righthearted humankind to enjoy perfect life on an earth restored to paradisaic conditions.  (Revelation 5:9, 10; 14:1, 4; 21:3-5; 22:1-4) One of the greatest privileges we have today is this glorious good news to our neighbors. -Matthew 24:14. 

As the apostle Paul showed, living a life of godly devotion hold that promise that people can inherit those blessings in the life "which is to come."  Surely, this is the very best way to find happiness! Remember, "the world is passing away and so is its desire, but he that does the will of God remains forever."  ( 1 John 2:17) Hence, whether you are a child or a parent, a husband or a wife, or a single adult with or without children, strive to do God's will. Even when you are under pressure or are faced with extreme difficulties, never forget that you are a servant of the living God.  Thus, may your actions bring joy to Jehovah.  (Proverbs 27:11) And may your conduct result in happiness for you  now and everlasting life in the new world to come!

Next time: JUDGMENT DAY-WHAT IS IT? 

From the book: The Secret of FAMILY HAPPINESS 

Securing a Lasting Future for Your Family

THE FAMILY THAT DOES GOD'S WILL

A Christian's whole life is centered on doing the will of God.  (Psalm 143:10) This is what godly devotion really means. Doing God's will helps families to keep their eyes on the truly important things. (Philippians 1:9, 10) For example, Jesus warned:  "I came to cause division, with a man against his father, and a daughter against her mother, and a young wife against her mother-in-law.  Indeed, a man's enemies will be persons of his own household." He that has greater affection for father or  mother than for me is not worthy of me; and he that has greater affection for son or daughter than for me is not worthy of me.  And whoever does not accept his torture stake  and follow after me is not worthy of me.   (Matthew 10:35- 38)   True to Jesus' warning, many of his followers have been persecuted by family members. What a sad, painful situation! Still, family ties should not outweigh our love for Jehovah God and for Jesus Christ.  (Matthew 10:37-39)  IF one endures despite family opposition, the opposers may change when they see the good effects of godly devotion.  (1 Corinthians 7:12-16; 1 Peter 3:1, 2) Even if that does not happen, no lasting good is gained by ceasing to served God because of opposition.

Doing God's will helps parents to make right decisions.  For example, in some communities parents tend to view children as an investment, and they count on their children to care for them in their old age.  While it is right and proper for grown children to care for their aging parents, such a consideration should not make parents direct their children to a materialistic way of life.  Parents do their children no favor  if they bring them up to value material possessions more than spiritual things. -1 Timothy 6:9. 

A fine example in this regard is Eunice, the mother of Paul's young friend Timothy.  (2 Timothy 1:5) Although she was married to an unbeliever, Eunice, along with Timothy's grandmother Lois, successfully raised Timothy to pursue godly devotion.  (2 Timothy 3:14, 15) When Timothy was old enough, Eunice allowed him to leaven home and take up  the Kingdom preaching work as Paul's missionary companion.  (Acts 16:1-5) How thrilled she must have been when her son became and outstanding missionary!  His godly devotion as an adult reflected well on his early training. Surely, Eunice found satisfaction and joy in hearing reports of Timothy's faithful ministry, even though she probably missed having him with her. -Philippians 2:19, 20.  

Next time: Securing a Lasting Future for Your Family/THE FAMILY AND YOUR FUTURE

From the book: The Secret of FAMILY HAPPINESS 

Securing a Lasting Future for Your Family

"BE SWIFT ABOUT HEARING"

In this book the need for communication is frequently highlighted.  Why? Because things work better when people talk to and really listen to each other. It was repeatedly emphasized that communication is a two-way street.  The disciple James expressed it this way:  "Every man must be swift about hearing, slow about speaking." -James 1;19. 

It is also important to be careful about how we speak.  Rash, contentious, or severely critical words do not constitute successful communication.  (Proverbs 15:1; 21:9; 29:11, 20)  Families that learn to communicate well have taken a major stride toward achieving happiness. 

THE VITAL ROLE OF LOVE 

The word "love" appears repeatedly throughout this book.  Do you remember the kind of love primarily referred to?  It is true that romantic love  (Greek, e'ros) plays an important part in marriage, and in successful marriages, deep affection and friendship (Greek,  phi-li'a) grow between a husband and a wife.  But even more important is the love represented by the Greek word a-ga'pe.  this is the love that we cultivate for Jehovah, for Jesus, and for our neighbor.  (Matthew 22:37-39) It is the love Jehovah expresses toward mankind.  (John 3:16) How wonderful that we can show the same kind of love for our marriage and children! - 1 John 4:19.

In marriage this elevated love is truly "a perfect bond of union."  (Colossians 3:14) It binds a couple together and makes them want to do what is best for each other and their children.  When families face difficult situations, love helps them to handle thing unitedly.  As a couple get older, love helps them to support and continue appreciating each other.   "Love . . . does not look for its own interests. . . .  . It bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things. Love never fails." -1 Corinthians 13:4-8.

The marriage union is especially strong when it is sealed not just by love between marriage mates but primarily by love for Jehovah.  (Ecclesiastes 4:9-12) Why? Well, the apostle John wrote:  "This is what the love of God means, that we observe his commandments." (1 John 5:3)   Thus, a couple should train their children in godly devotion not simply because their love their children deeply but because this is Jehovah's command.  (Deuteronomy 6:6, 7) They should shun immorality not only because they love each other but chiefly because they love Jehovah, who "will judge fornicators and adulterers."  (Hebrews 13:4) Even if one partner causes severe problems in the marriage, love for Jehovah will move the other to continue following Bible principles. Happy, indeed, are those families in which love for one another is cemented by love for Jehovah.

Next time: Securing a Lasting Future for Your Family/THE FAMILY THAT DOES GOD'S WILL

From the book: The Secret of FAMILY HAPPINESS 

Securing a Lasting Future for Your Family

 A PROPER VIEW OF HEADSHIP

The second most important principle is recognition of headship. Paul described the proper order of things when he said:  "I want you to know that the head of every man is the Christ; in turn the head of a woman is the man; in turn the head of the Christ is God." (1 Corinthians 11:3)  This means that a man takes the head in the family, is wife is loyally supportive, and the children are obedient to their parents.  (Ephesians 5:22-25, 28-33; 6:1-4)  Notice, though, that headship leads to happiness only when it is handled in a proper ways. Husbands who live with godly devotion know that headship is not dictatorial.  They imitate Jesus, their Head. Although Jesus was to be "head over all things," he came, not to be ministered to, but to minister."  (Ephesians 1:22; Matthew 20:28) In a similar way, a Christian man exercises headship, not to benefit himself, but to care for the interests of his wife and children. -1 Corinthians 13:4, 5. 

For her part, the wife who lives with godly devotion does not compete with or seek to dominate her husband.  She is happy to be supportive of him and to work with him.  The Bible sometimes speaks of a wife as being "owned" by her husband, leaving no doubt that he is her head.  (Genesis 20:3) Through marriage she comes under "the law of her husband."  (Romans 7:2) At the same time, the Bible calls her a "helper" and a "compliment." (Genesis 2:20)  She supplies  qualities and abilities that her  lacks, and she gives him needed support. (Proverbs 31:10-31) The Bible also says that a wife is a "partner," one who works side by side with her mate.  (Malachi 2:14) These Scriptural principles help a husband and a wife to appreciate each other's position and to treat each other with proper respect and dignity.

Next time: Securing a Lasting Future for Your Family/"BE SWIFT ABOUT HEARING"

From the book: The Secret of FAMILY HAPPINESS 

Securing a Lasting Future for Your Family

THE VALUE OF SELF-CONTROL

King Solomon said:  "As a city broken through, with a wall, is the man that has no restraint for his spirit."  (Proverbs 25:28; 29:11)  'Restraining one's spirit,' exercising self-control, is vital for those who want a happy marriage.  Surrendering to destructive emotions, such as rage or immoral lust, will cause damage that takes years to repair-if it can be repaired at all.  

Of course, no descendant of Adam can fully control his imperfect flesh.  (Romans 7:21, 22) Still, self-control is a fruit of the spirit.  (Galatians 5:22,23)  Hence, God's spirit will produce self-control in us if we pray for this quality, if we apply the appropriate counsel that is found in the Scriptures, and if we associate with others who manifest it and avoid those who do not. (Psalm 119:100, 101, 130; Proverbs 13:20; 1 Peter 4:7) Such a course will help us to "flee from fornication," even when we are tempted.  (1 Corinthians 6:18) We will reject violence and will avoid or conquer alcoholism.  And we will deal more calmly with provocations and difficult situations. May all-including children-learn to cultivate this vital fruit of the spirit. -Psalm 119:1, 2.  

Next time: Securing a Lasting Future for Your Family/A PROPER VIEW OF HEADSHIP

From the book: The Secret of FAMILY HAPPINESS 

CHAPTER SIXTEEN: Securing a Lasting Future for Your Family

WHEN Jehovah united Adam and  Eve in marriage, Adam expressed his joy by speaking the earliest recorded Hebrew poetry.  (Genesis 2:22, 23) However, the Creator had more in mind than merely bringing pleasure to his human children.  He wanted married couples and families to do his will.  He told the first pair:  "Be fruitful and become many and fill the earth and subdue it, and have in subjection the fish of the sea and the flying creatures of the heavens and every living creature that is moving upon the earth." (Genesis 1:28)   What  a grand, rewarding assignment that was! How happy they and their future children would have been if Adam and Eve had done Jehovah's will in full obedience! 

Today, too, families are happiest when they work together to do God's will.  The apostle Paul wrote:  "Godly devotion is beneficial fro all things, as it hold promise of the life now that which is to come." (1 Timothy 4:8)  A family  that lives with godly devotion and that follows Jehovah's guidance as contained in the Bible will find happiness in "the life now."  (Psalm 1:1-3; 119:105; 2 Timothy 3:16)  Even if only one member of a family applies Bible principles, things are better if no one does. 

This book has discussed many Bible principles that contribute to family happiness.   Likely you have noticed that some of them appear repeatedly throughout the book. Why?  Because they represent powerful truths that work for the good of all in various aspects of family life. A family that strives to apply these Bible principles find that godly devotion really does 'hold promise of the life now.' Let us look again at four of those important principles. 

Next time Securing a Lasting Future for Your Family/THE VALUE OF SELF-CONTROL

From the book: The Secret of FAMILY HAPPINESS 

Honoring Your Elderly Parents

STRENGTH BEYOND WHAT IS NORMAL

Through his Word, the Bible, Jehovah lovingly provides guidance that can greatly aid a person in caring for aging parents, but that is not the only help he provides.  "Jehovah is near to all those calling upon him," wrote the psalmist under inspiration.  "Their cry for help he will hear, and he will save them."  Jehovah will save, or preserve, his faithful ones through even the most difficult situations. -Psalm 145:18, 19. 

Myrna, in the Philippines, learned this when caring for her mother, who was made helpless by a stroke.  "There is nothing more depressing than to see your loved one suffer, unable to tell you where it hurts," writes Myrna.  "It was just like seeing her drowning little by little, and there was nothing I could do.  Many times I would bend my knees and talk to Jehovah about how tired I was. I cried out like David, who beseeched Jehovah to place his tears in a bottle and remember him.  ( 56:8) And as Jehovah promised, he gave me the strength I needed.  'Jehovah came to be as a support for me.' " -Psalm 18:18.

It has been said that caring for aging parents is a "story without a happy ending." Despite even the best efforts at caregiving, older one may die, as did Myrna's mother. But those who trust in Jehovah know that death is not the end of the story.  The apostle Paul said:  "I have hope toward God .  .  . that there is going to be a resurrection of both the righteous and the unrighteous."  (Acts 24:15) Those who have lost elderly parents in death take comfort in the resurrection hope along with the promise of a delightful new world of God's making in which "death will be no more." -21:4.

Servants of God have deep regard for their parents, even though they may have grown old.  (Proverbs  23"22-24) They honor them. In doing so, they experience what the inspired proverb says:  "Your father and your mother will rejoice, and she that gave birth to you will be joyful." (Proverbs 23:25) And most of all, those who honor their elderly parents also please and honor Jehovah God. 

Next time: CHAPTER SIXTEEN:  Secure a Lasting Future for Your Family

From the book: The Secret of FAMILY HAPPINESS 

Honoring Your Elderly Parents

CAREGIVERS NEED CARE TOO

Caring for an infirm parent is hard work, involving may tasks, much responsibility, and long hours.  But the most difficult part is often emotional. It is distressing to watch your parents lose their health, memory, and independence. Sandy, who comes from Puerto Rico, relates:  "My mother was the nucleus of our family. It was very painful to care for her.  First she started limping; then she needed a cane, then a walker, then a wheelchair. After that it was downhill until she passed away. She developed bone cancer and needed constant care-day and night. We bathed her and fed her and read to her. It was very difficult-especially emotionally.  When I realized that my mother was dying, I cried because I loved her so much."

If you find yourself in a similar situation, what can you do to cope?  Listening to Jehovah by Bible reading and speaking to him through prayer will help you greatly.  (Philippians 4:6, 7 ) In a practical way, make sure that you eat balanced meals and try to get adequate sleep.  By doing this, you  will be in a better condition, both emotionally and physically, to take care of your loved one.  Perhaps you can arrange an occasional break from the daily routine . Even if a vacation is not possible, it is still wise to schedule some time for relaxation.  In order to get time away, you may be able to arrange for someone  else to stay with your ailing parent.

It is not unusual for adult caregivers to have unreasonable expectations of themselves.  But do not feel guilty for what you cannot do. In some circumstances you may need to entrust your loved one to the care of a nursing home. If you are a caregiver, set reasonable expectations for yourself.  You must  balance the needs not only of your parents but also of your children, your spouse, and yourself.  

Next time: Honoring Your Elderly Parents/STRENGTH BEYOND WHAT IS NORMAL

From the book: The Secret of  FAMILY HAPPINESS 

Honoring Your Elderly Parents

MAINTAINING THE RIGHT ATTITUDE

Sometimes a problem that adult children face in honoring their aged parents involves the relationship they had with their parents in earlier times. Perhaps your father was cold and unloving, your mother domineering and harsh. You may still feel frustrated, angry, or hurt because they were not the parents you wanted them to be.  Can you overcome such feelings?

Basse, who grew up in Finland, relates:  "My stepfather had been an SS officer in Nazi Germany. He easily lost his temper, and then he was dangerous.  He beat up my mother many times in front of my eyes. Once when he was angry with me, he swung his belt and hit me in the face with the buckle. It hit me so hard that I had tumbled over the bed."

Yet, there was another side to the picture. Basse adds: "On the other hand, he worked very hard and did not spare himself in caring for the family materially.  He never showed me fatherly affection, but I knew that he was emotionally scarred.  His mother had thrown him out when he was a young boy. He grew up with his fists and entered the war as a young man. I could understand to some degree and did not blame him.  When I grew older, I wanted to help him as much as I could up until his death. It as not easy, but I did what I could.  I tried to be a good son in the end, and I think he accepted me as that. 

In family situations, as in other matters, the Bible counsel applies:  "Clothe yourselves with the tender affections of compassion, kindness, lowliness of mind, mildness, and long-suffering. Continue putting up with one another and forgiving one  another freely if anyone has a cause for complaint against another. Even as Jehovah forgave you, so do you also." - Colossians 3:12, 13.

Next time: Honoring Your Elderly Parents/CAREGIVERS NEED CARE TOO

From the book: The Secret of FAMILY HAPPINESS 

Honoring Your Elderly Parents

BE EMPATHETIC AND UNDERSTANDING

Honoring our elderly parents requires empathy and understanding.  As the years take their toll,  older ones may find it increasingly difficult to walk, eat, and remember. They may need help. Often the children become protective and try to provide guidance.  But the elderly are adults with a lifetime of accumulated wisdom and experience, a lifetime of caring for themselves and making  their decisions. Their identity and self-respect may center on their role as parents and adults.  Parents who feel they must hand over control of their lives to their children may become depressed or angry. Some resent and resist what they may see as efforts to rob them of their independence. 

There are no easy solutions to such problems, but it is a kindness to allow elderly parents to look after themselves and make their own decisions to the extent possible. It is wise not to make decisions about what is best for your parents without talking to them first.  They may have lost much.  Allow them to keep what they still have. You may find that  the less you try to control your parents' lives, the better the relationship with them will be.  They will be happier, and so will you. Even if it is necessary to insist on certain things for their good, honoring your parents  requires that you afford them the dignity and respect they deserve.  God's Word counsels:  "Before gray hair you should rise up, and you must show consideration for the person of an old man." -Leviticus 19:32. 

Next time: Honoring Your Elderly Parents/MAINTAINING THE RIGHT ATTITUDE

From the book: The Secret of FAMILY HAPPINESS 

Honoring Your Elderly Parents

LOVE AND SELF-SACRIFICE

Many adult children have responded to the needs of their infirm parents with love and self-sacrifice.  Some have taken their parents into their own homes or have moved to be near them. Others have moved to be near them. Others have moved in with their parents.  Frequently, such arrangements have proved to be a blessing to both parents and children.

Sometimes, though, such moves do not turn out well. Why?  Perhaps because decisions are  made too hastily or are based solely on emotion.  "The shrews one considers his steps,"  the Bible wisely cautions.  (Proverbs 14:15) For example, suppose that your elderly mother is having difficulty living alone and you think she might benefit by moving in with you.  In shrewdly considering your steps, you might consider the following:  What are her actual needs?  Are there private or state-sponsored support services that offer an acceptable alternative solution?  Does she want to move?  If she does, in what ways will her life be affected?  Will she have to leave friends behind?  How  might this affect her emotionally?  Have you talked these things over with her?  How might such  a move affect you, your mate, your own children?  If your mother needs care, who will provide it. Can the responsibility be shared?  Have you discussed the matter  with all those directly involved?

Since the responsibility for care rests with all children in a family, it may be wise to hold a family conference sot hat all may share in making decisions.  Talking to the elders in the Christian congregation or to friends who have faced  a similar situation may also be helpful.  "There is a frustrating of plans where there is no confidential talk," warns the Bible,  'but in the multitude of counselors there is accomplishment." -Proverbs 15:22. 

Next time: Honoring Your Elderly Parents/BE EMPATHETIC AND UNDERSTANDING 

From the book: The Secret of FAMILY HAPPINESS 

Honoring Your Elderly Parents

ASSISTING WITH MATERIAL NEEDS

Might honoring one's parents also involve caring for their material needs? Yes, it often does.  In Jesus' day the Jewish religious leaders upheld the tradition that if a person declared that his money or property was  "a gift dedicated to God," he  was free from the responsibility to use it to care for his parents.  (Matthew 15:3-6) How callous!  In effect, those religious leaders were encouraging people not to honor their parents but to treat them with contempt by selfishly denying their needs.  Never do we want to do that! -Deuteronomy 27:16. 

In many lands today, government-supported social programs provide for some of the material needs of the elderly, such as food, clothing, and shelter. In addition to that, the elderly themselves may have been able to make some provisions for their old age.  But if these provisions run out or prove inadequate, children honor their parents by doing what they can to make parental needs. In fact, caring for aged parents is an evidence of godly devotion, that is, one's devotion to Jehovah God, the Originator of the family arrangement. 

Next time: Honoring Your Elderly Parents/ LOVE AND SELF-SACRIFICE

From the book: The Secret of FAMILY HAPPINESS 

CHAPTER FIFTEEN: Honoring Your Elderly Parents

"LISTEN to your father who caused your birth, an do not despise your mother just because she has grown old," counseled the wise man of long ago.  (Proverbs 23:22) 'I would never do that! you may say, instead of despising our mothers-or our fathers-most of us feel a deep love for them.  We recognize that we owe them a great deal. First of all,  our parents gave us life.  While Jehovah is the Source of life, without our parents we simply would not exist. Nothing we can give our parents is as precious as life itself. Then, just think of the self-sacrifice, anxious care, expense,m and loving attention involved in helping a child along the path from infancy to adulthood. How reasonable it is, therefore, that God's Word counsels:  "Honor you father and your mother . . .  that it may go well with you and you may endure a long time on earth"! - Ephesians 6:2, 3. 

RECOGNIZING EMOTIONAL NEEDS 

The apostle Paul wrote to Christians:  "Let  [children or grandchildren] learn  first to practice godly devotion in their own household and to keep paying a due compensation to their parents and grandparents, for this is acceptable in God's sight."  ( 1 Timothy 5:4)  Grown children offer this "due compensation" by showing appreciation for the years of love, work, and care that their parents and grandparents spent on them. One way children can do this is by recognizing that like everyone else, older ones need love and reassurance-often desperately so. Like all of us, they need to feel valued.   They need to feel that their lives   are worthwhile.

So we can honor our parents and grandparents by letting them know that we love them.  (1 Corinthians 16:14) If our parents are not living with us, we should remember that hearing from us can mean a great deal to them.  A cheerful letter, a phone call, or a visit can greatly contribute to their joy. Miyo, who lives in Japan, wrote when she was 82 years of age:  "My daughter [whose husband is a traveling minister] tells me:  'Mother, please "travel" with us.' She sends  me their schedule route and telephone number for each week.  I can open my map and say 'ah. Now they are here!' I always thank Jehovah for the blessing of having such a child."

Next time: Honoring Your Elderly Parents/ASSISTING WITH MATERIAL NEEDS

From the book:  The Secret of FAMILY HAPPINESS 

Growing Older Together

VALUED BY GOD IN OLD AGE 

Though death takes away a beloved mate, Jehovah remains ever faithful, ever sure.  "One thing I have asked from Jehovah," sang David of old,  "It is what I shall look for , that I may dwell in the house of Jehovah all the days of my life, to behold the pleasantness of Jehovah and to look with appreciation  upon his temple."-Psalm 27:4

"Honor widows that are actually widows," urges the apostle Paul. ( 1 Timothy 5:3) The counsel that follows this instruction indicates that worthy widows without close relatives may have needed material support from the congregation.   Nevertheless,the sense of the instruction to "honor" includes the idea of valuing them.  What comfort godly widows and widowers can draw from the knowledge that Jehovah values them and will sustain them! -James 1:27. 

"The splendor of old men is their grayheadedness," God's inspired Word declares.  "It is a crown of beauty when it is found in the way of righteousness."  (Proverbs 16:31; 20:29)  Continue, then, whether married or single once again, to keep Jehovah's service first in your life. You will thus have a good name with God now and the prospect of eternal life in a world where the pains of old age will be no more. -Psalm 37:3-5; Isaiah 65:20. 

Next time: CHAPTER FIFTEEN: Honoring Our Elder Parents

From the book: The Secret of FAMILY HAPPINESS 

Growing Older Together

HANDLING THE LOSS OF YOUR SPOUSE

It is a sad but true fact that in the present system of things, married couples are eventually separated by death. Bereaved Christian spouses know that their loved ones are not sleeping, and they are confident that they will see them again.  (John 11:11, 25)  But the loss is still grievous. How can the surviving one deal with it? 

Bearing in mind what a certain Bible character did will help.  Anna was widowed after only seven years of marriage, and when we read of her, she was 84 years old.  We can be sure that she grieved when she lost her husband.  How did she cope?  She rendered sacred service to Jehovah God at the temple night and day.  (Luke 2:36-38) Anna's life of prayerful service was undoubtedly a great antidote to the sorrow and loneliness  she felt as a widow.

"The biggest challenge for me has been having no partner to talk to," explains a 72-year-old woman who was widowed ten years ago.  "My husband was a good listener. We would talk about the congregation and our share in the Christian ministry."  Another widow says: "Although time heals, I have found it more accurate  to say that it is what one does with one's time that helps one to heal. You are in better a position to help others."  A 67-year-old widower agrees, saying "A wonderful way to cope with bereavement is to give of yourself in comforting others."

Next time: Growing Older Together/VALUED BY GOD IN OLD AGE

From the book: The Secret of FAMILY HAPPINESS 

Growing Older Together

ADJUST AS YOU AGE

As the years roll by, you will find that you cannot do all that you used to or all that you want to.How does one come to terms with the aging process?  In your mind you may feel 30 years old, but a glance in the mirror betrays a different reality. Do not be discouraged.  The psalmist beseeched Jehovah: "Do not throw me away in the time of old age; just when my power is failing, do not leave me."   Make it your resolve  to imitate the psalmist's determination. He said: "I shall wait constantly, and I will add to all your praise."  -Psalm 71:9, 14. 

Many have prepared in advance to increase their praise to Jehovah after retirement from secular work.  "I planned ahead what I would do when our daughter left school," explains one father who is now retired.  "I determined that I would start in the full-time preaching  ministry, and I sold my business in order to be free to serve Jehovah more fully. I prayed for God's direction." If you  are nearing the age of retirement, draw comfort from the declaration of our Grant Creator: "Even to one's old age I am the  same One; and to one's grayheadedness I myself shall keep bearing up." -Isaiah 46:4.

Adapting to retirement from secular work may not be easy.  The apostle Paul counseled aged men to be "moderate in habits." This calls for general restraint, not giving to the inclination to seek a life of ease.  There may be an even greater need for a routine and self-discipline after retirement than before.  Be busy, then, "always having plenty to do in the work of the Lord, knowing that your labor is not in vain in connection with the Lord."  (1 Corinthians 15:58)  Widen out your activities to help others.   (2 Corinthians 6:13) Many Christians do this by zealously preaching the good news at an adjusted pace.  As you grow older, be "healthy in faith, in love, in endurance." -Titus 2:2) 

Next time: Growing Older Together/HANDLING THE LOSS OF YOUR SPOUSE

From the book: The Secret of FAMILY HAPPINESS 

Growing Older Together

ENJOY YOUR GRANDCHILDREN

Grandchildren are "the crown" of the elderly. (Proverbs 17:6) The companionship of grandchildren can truly be a delight-lively and refreshing.  The Bible speaks well of Lois, a grandmother who, with her daughter Eunice, shared her beliefs with her infant grandson Timothy. This youngster grew up knowing that both his mother and his grandmother valued Bible truth. - 2 Timothy 1:4; 3:14, 15. 

Here, then, is a special area  in which grandparents can make a most valuable contribution. Grandparents, you have already shared your knowledge  of Jehovah's purposes with your children.Now you can do likewise with yet another generation!  Many young children thrill to hear grandparents accounts of Bible stories. Of course, you do not take over the father's responsibility to inculcate the Bible truths in children.  (Deuteronomy 6:7)  Rather, you compliment this. May your prayer be that of the psalmist:  "Even until old age and grayheadedness, O God, do not leave me, until I may tell about your arm to the generation, to all those who are to come, about your mightiness." -Psalm 71:18; 78:5, 6.

Sadly, some grandparents so spoil the little ones that tensions develop between the grandparents and their grown children.  However, your sincere  kindness may perhaps  make it easy for your grandchildren to confide  in you when they do not feel inclined to reveal matters to their parents. Sometimes the youngsters hope that their indulgent grandparents will side with them against their  parents.  What then?  Exercise wisdom and encourage your grandchildren to be open with their parents.  You can explain that this pleases Jehovah.  (Ephesians 6:1-3) If necessary, you may volunteer to pave the way for the youngsters' approach by speaking with their parents.  Be frank with your children about what you have learned over the years.  Your honesty and candor can benefit them.

Next time: Growing Older Together/ADJUST AS YOU AGE

From the book: The Secret of FAMILY HAPPINESS  

Growing Older Together

REINVIGORATING YOUR MARRIAGE BOND

People react in various ways to reaching middle age.  Some men dress differently in an attempt to appear younger. Many women worry about the changes that menopause brings. Sadly, some middle-aged persons provoke their mates to resentment and jealously by flirting with younger members of the opposite sex.  Godly  older men, though, are "sound in mind," curbing improper desires.  (1 Peter 4:7 ) Mature women likewise work to maintain the stability of their marriages, out of love for their husbands and a desire to please Jehovah.  

Under inspiration, King Lemuel recorded  praise for the "capable wife" who rewards her husband "with good, and not bad, all the days of her life."  A  Christian husband will not fail to appreciate how his wife strives to cop;e with any emotional upset she experiences during her middle years.   His love will prompt him to 'praise her.' -Proverbs 31:10, 12, 28. 

During the busy child-rearing years, both of you may have gladly put aside  your personal desires to attend to your children's needs. After their departure it is time to refocus on your married life.  "When my daughters left home," says one husband, "I began courtship with my wife all over again."  Another husband says:  "We keep  an eye on each other's health and remind each other of the need for exercise." So as not to feel lonely, he and his wife show hospitality to other members of the congregation. Yes, showing interest in others brings blessings. Moreover, it pleases Jehovah. -Philippians 2:4; Hebrews 13:2, 16. 

Do not allow a communication gap to develop between you and your spouse. Talk together freely. (Proverbs 17:27)  "We deepen our understanding of each other by caring  and being considerate," comments one husband. His wife agrees, saying:  "As we have grown older, we have come to enjoy having tea together, conversing, and cooperating with each other."  Your being op;en and honest can help cement your marriage bond, giving it a resilience that will thwart the attacks of Satan, the marriage wrecker.

Next time: Growing Older Together/ENJOY YOUR GRANDCHILDREN

From the book: The Secret of FAMILY HAPPINESS 

Growing Older Together

Conclusion of ADAPT TO YOUR CHILDREN'S INDEPENDENCE

After a couple's two daughters married and moved away, the couple felt a void in their lives.  At first, the husband resented his sons-in-law.  But as he reflected on the principle of headship, he realized that his daughters' husband were now responsible for the perspective households. Therefore, when his daughters requested advice, he asked them what their husbands thought, and then he made sure to be as supportive as possible. He sons-in-law now view him as a friend and welcome his counsel.

What if newlyweds, while not doing anything unscriptural, fail to do what the parents think is best?  "We always help them to see Jehovah's point of view," explain one couple who have married children, "but if we do not agree with the decision of theirs, we accept it and give them our support and encouragement."

In certain Asian lands, some mothers  find it particularly difficult to accept their son's independence. However, if they respect Christian order and headship, the find that friction with their daughters-in-law is minimized.  One Christian  woman finds that departure of her sons from the family home has been a "source of ever-increasing gratitude."  She is thrilled to see their ability to manage their new households. In turn, this has meant a lightening of the physical and mental load that she and her husband have to bear as they get older. 

Next time: Growing Older Together/REINVIGORATING YOUR MARRIAGE BOND

From the book: The Secret of FAMILY HAPPINESS 

Growing Older Together

ADAPT TO YOUR CHILDREN'S INDEPENDENCE

Changing roles call for adaptability. How true this proves to be when adult children leave home and get married!  For many parents this is the first reminder that they are getting old.  Though happy that their offspring have come of age, parents often worry about whether they did all they could to prepare the children for independence. And they may miss them around the house.

Understandably, parents continue to concern themselves with the welfare of their children, even after the children leave home.  "If I could only hear from them often, to reassure myself that they are all right-that would make me happy," said one mother.  A father relates:  "When our daughter left home, it was a very difficult time. It left a great gap in our family because we had always done everything together."  How have these parents coped with the absence of their children?  In many cases, by reaching out and helping other people.

When children get  married, the role of the parents changes.  Genesis 2:24 states:  "A man will leave his father and his mother and he must stick to his wife and they must become one flesh."  A recognition of the godly principles of headship and good order  will help parents to keep things in their proper perspective. -1 Corinthians 11;3; 14:33, 40. 

Next time: Growing Older Together/Conclusion of ADAPT TO YOUR CHILDREN'S INDEPENDENCE

From the book: The Secret of FAMILY HAPPINESS 

CHAPTER FOURTEEN: Growing Older Together

MANY changes occur as we grow older. Physical weakness saps our vigor.  A look in the mirror reveals new wrinkles and a gradual loss of hair color-even of hair.  We may suffer some memory failure. New relationships develop when the children marry, and again when grandchildren arrive.   For some, retirement from secular work results in a different  routine of life.

In truth, advancing years can be trial-some.  (Ecclesiastes 12:1-8)  Still, consider God's servants in Bible times.  Although they finally succumbed to death, they gained both wisdom and understanding, which brought them great satisfaction in old age.  (Genesis 25:8; 35:29; Job 12:12; 42:17)  How did they succeed in growing older happily?  Surely it was by living in harmony  with the principles that we today find recorded in the Bible. -Psalm 119:105; 2 Timothy 3:16, 17. -

In his letter to Titus, the apostle Paul offered sound guidance to those who are getting older.  He wrote:  "Let the aged men be moderate in habits, serious in mind, healthy in faith, in love, in endurance. Likewise let the aged women be reverent in their behavior,  not slanderous, neither enslaved to a lot of wine, teachers of what is good."  (Titus 32:2, 3)  Heeding these words can help you to face the challenges of growing older.  

Next time: Growing Older Together/ADAPT TO YOUR CHILDREN'S INDEPENDENCE

From the book: The Secret of FAMILY HAPPINESS 

If Marriage Is at the Breaking Point

HOW A  BROKEN MARRIAGE WAS SAVED

Three months after Lucia, mentioned earlier, separated from her husband, she met Jehovah's Witnesses and started to study the Bible with them.  "To my great surprise," she explains, "the Bible supplied practical solutions to my problem.  After just one week of study, I immediately wanted to make up with my husband. Today I can say that Jehovah knows how to save marriages in crisis because his teachings help mates to learn how to feel esteem for each other. It is not true, as some assert, that Jehovah's Witnesses divide families.  In my case, exactly the opposite was true."  Lucia learned to apply Bible principles in her life. 

Lucia is not an exception.  Marriage should be a blessing, not burden.  To that end, Jehovah has provided the finest source of marriage counsel ever written-his precious Word.  The Bible can make "the inexperienced ones wise."  (Psalm 19:7-11) It has saved many marriages that were at the breaking point and has improved many others that had serious problems.  May all married couples have full confidence int he marriage counsel that Jehovah God supplies. It really works!

Next time: CHAPTER FOURTEEN:  Growing Older Together

From the book: The Secret of FAMILY HAPPINESS 

If Marriage Is at the Breaking Point

GROUNDS FOR SEPARATION

Are there situations that may justify separation or possibly divorce from a marriage mate even if that one has not committed fornication?  Yes, but in such a case,  a Christian is not free to pursue a third party with a view to remarriage.  (Matthew 5:32)   The Bible, while making allowances for such separation, stipulates that the one departing should "remain unmarried or else make up again."  (1 Corinthians 7:11) What are some extreme situations that may make a separation seem advisable?

Well, the family may become destitute because of the gross laziness and bad habits of the husband. He may gamble away the family's income or use it to support and addiction to drugs or alcohol.   The Bible states:  "If anyone does not provide  for . . .members of his household, he has disowned the faith and is worse than a person without faith."  (1 Timothy 5:8)  If such a man refuses to change his ways, perhaps even financing his vices by taking money that his wife earns, the wife may choose to protect her  welfare and that of the children by obtaining a legal separation. 

Such legal action may also be considered if a spouse is extremely violent toward the partner, perhaps repeatedly beating that one to the extent that health and even life are in danger. Additionally, if a spouse constantly tries to force a marriage mate to break God's commands in some way, the threatened mate may also consider separation, especially if matters reach the point  where spiritual life is endangered.  The partner at risk  may conclude that the only way to "obey God as ruler rather than men" is to obtain legal separation. -Acts 5:29.

In all cases of extreme spousal abuse, no one should put pressure on the innocent mate either to separate or to stay with the other.  While mature friends and elders may offer support and Bible-based counsel, these cannot know all the details of what goes on between a husband and a wife. Only Jehovah can see that. Of course, a Christian wife would not be honoring God's marriage arrangement if she used flimsy excuses  to get out of a marriage.  But if an extremely  danger situation persists, no one should criticize her if she chooses to separate.   Exactly the same things could be said concerning a Christian husband who seeks separation. "We shall all stand before the judgment seat of God." -Romans 4:10. 

Next time:  If Marriage Is at the Breaking Point/HOW A BROKEN MARRIAGE WAS SAVED

From the book: The Secret of  FAMILY HAPPINESS 

If Marriage Is at the Breaking Point

THE BIBLICAL GROUNDS FOR DIVORCE

Happily, in most Christian marriages, any problems that arise can be handled.  Sometimes, though, this is not the case. Because humans are imperfect and live in a sinful world that is under the control of Satan, some marriages do reach the breaking point.  (1 John 5:19) How should Christians deal with such a trying situation?

As mentioned in Chapter 2 of this book,  fornication is the only Scriptural grounds for divorce with the possibility of remarriage.  (Matthew 19:9) If you have definite proof that your marriage mate has been unfaithful, then you face a difficult decision.  Will you continue in the marriage or get a divorce?  There are no rules.   Some Christians have completely forgiven a genuinely repentant partner, and the preserved marriage has turned out well. Others have decided against divorce for the sake of the children.

On the other hand, the sinful act may have resulted in pregnancy or a sexually transmitted disease. Or perhaps the children need to be protected from a sexually abusive parent.  Clearly, there is much to consider  before making a decision.  If, however, you learn the infidelity of your marriage partner and afterward resume sexual relations with your mate, you thus indicate that you have forgiven you mate and desire to continue in the marriage.  Grounds for divorce with the Scriptural possibility of remarriage no longer exist.  No one should  be  a busybody and try to influence your decision, nor should anyone criticize your decision when you make it. You will have to live with the consequences of what you decide.  "Each one will carry his own load." -Galatians 6:5. 

Next time: If Marriage Is at the Breaking Point/ GROUNDS FOR SEPARATION

From the book: The Secret of FAMILY HAPPINESS