Maintain Peace in Your Household

THE CHALLENGE OF BEING A STEPPARENT

In many homes the situation that presents the greatest challenge is not religious but biological. Many households today include children from previous marriages of one or both of the parents. In such a family, children may experience jealousy and resentment or perhaps a conflict of loyalties.  As a result, they may rebuff the sincere efforts of the stepparent to be a good father or mother.  What can help to make a step-family successful? 

Realize that in spite of the special circumstances, Bible principles that bring success in other households apply here also. Ignoring those principles may, or the moment, seem to relieve a problem but will likely lead to heartache later.  (Psalm 127:1; Proverbs 29:15)  Cultivate wisdom and discernment-wisdom to apply godly  principles with long-term benefits in mind, and discernment to identify why family members say and do certain things. There is also a need for empathy. -Proverbs 16:21; 24:3; 1 Peter 3:8.  

If you are a stepparent, you may recall that as a friend of the family, you were perhaps welcomed by the children. but when you became their stepparent, their attitude may have changed.   Remembering the biological parent who is no longer living with them, the children may be struggling with a conflict of loyalties, possibly feeling that you want to take away the affection that they have for the absent parent. At times, they might bluntly remind you that you are not their father or their mother. Such statements hurt. Still, 'do not hurry yourself in your spirit to become offended."  (Ecclesiastes 7:9) Discernment and empathy are needed in order to deal with the children's emotions. 

Next time: Maintain Peace in Your Household/Conclusion of THE CHALLENGE OF BEING A STEPPARENT

From the book: The Secret of FAMILY HAPPINESS