Is There a Rebel in the House?

WHEN CHILDREN GET INTO DIFFICULTY

Good parenting certainly makes a difference. Proverbs 22:6 says:  "Train up a boy according to the way for him; even when he grows old he will not turn aside from it."  Still, what of children who have serious problems in spite of having good parents?  Is this possible? Yes.  The words of the proverb must be understood in the light of other verses that emphasize the child's responsibility  to "listen" to and obey the parents. (Proverbs 1:8) Both parent and child must cooperate in applying Scriptural principles if there is to be family harmony. If parents and children do not work together, there will be difficulties.

How should parents react when a teenager errs and gets into trouble?  Then, especially the youngster needs help. If the parents remember that they are dealing with an inexperienced youth, they will more easily resist the tendency to overreact. Paul counseled mature ones in the congregation:  "Even though a man takes some false steps before he is aware of it, you who have spiritual qualifications try to readjust such a man in a spirit of mildness."  (Galatians 6:1)  Parents can follow the same procedure when dealing with a young person who commits an error because of being thoughtless..  While clearly explaining why his conduct was wrong and how he can avoid repeating the same error, the parents should make it clear that it is the wrong conduct, not the youth, that is bad. -Compare Jude 22, 23. 

What if the youngster's delinquency is very serious? In that case the child needs special help and skillful direction. When a congregation member commits a serious sin, he is encouraged to repent and approach the elders for help. (James 5:14-16) Once he repents, the elders work with him to restore him spiritually, In the family the responsibility for helping the erring teenager rests with the parents, although they may need to discuss the matter with the elders.  They certainly should not try to conceal from the body of elders any grave sins committed by one of their children. 

A serious problem involving one's own children  is very trying. Being distraught emotionally, parents may feel like angrily threatening the wayward offspring; but this might only embitter him. Bear in mind that the future of this young person may depend  on how he is treated during this critical time. Remember, too, that Jehovah was ready  to forgive when his people deviated from what was right-if they would only repent. Listen to his loving words:  " 'Come, now, you people, and let us set matters straight between us,' says Jehovah.  "Though the sins of you people should prove to be as scarlet m, they will be made white just like snow; though they should red like crimson cloth, they will become even like wool.' " ( Isaiah 1:18) What a fine example for parents!

Hence, try to encourage the wayward one to change his course. Seek sound advice from experienced parents and congregation elders.  (Proverbs 11:14) Try not to act impulsively  and say or do things that would make it difficult for your child to return to you. Avoid uncontrolled wrath and bitterness.  (Colossians 13:4, 7) While hating badness,  avoid becoming hard and embittered toward your child. Most important, parents should strive to set a fine example and to keep their faith in God strong.

Next time: Is There a Rebel in the House?/HANDLING A DETERMINED REBEL

From the book: The Secret of FAMILY HAPPINESS