CHAPTER TWELVE: You Can Overcome Problems That Damage a Family

THE old car has just been washed and waxed.  To passerby it looks shiny, almost new.  But underneath the surface, corrosive rust is eating away at the body of the vehicle. It is similar with some families.  Although to outward appearances everything looks fine, smiling faces hide fear and pain. Behind closed doors corrosive elements are eating away at family peace.  Two problems that can have this effect are alcoholism and violence. 

THE DAMAGE CAUSED BY ALCOHOLISM 

The Bible does not condemn the moderate use of alcoholic beverages, but it does condemn drunkenness.  (Proverbs 23:20, 21; 1 Corinthians 6:9, 10; 1 Timothy 5:23; Titus 2:2, 3) Alcoholism, though, is more than drunkenness; it is a chronic preoccupation with alcoholic drinks and a loss of control over their consumption. Alcoholics can be adults.  Sadly, they can also be youths.

The Bible long ago indicated that misuse of alcohol can disrupt family peace.  (Deuteronomy 21:18-21) The corrosive effects of alcoholism are felt by the entire family.  The spouse may become absorbed in efforts to stop the alcoholic's drinking or to cope with his unpredictable behavior. She tries concealing the liquor, throwing it away,m hiding his money, and appealing to his love for family, for life, even for God-but the alcoholic still drinks.  As her efforts to control  his drinking meet with repeated failure, she feels  frustrated and inadequate. She may begin to suffer from fear, anger, guilt, nervousness, anxiety, and lack of self-respect.

Children do not escape the effects of a parent's alcoholism.  Some are assaulted  physically. Other are molested sexually.  They may even blame themselves for a parent's alcoholism. Frequently their ability to trust others is shattered by the alcoholic's inconsistent behavior. Because they cannot comfortably talk about what is happening at home, the children may learn to suppress their feelings, often with harmful physical consequences.  (Proverbs 17:22) Such children may carry this lack of self-confidence or self-respect right into adulthood.  

Next time: You Can Overcome Problems That Damage a Family/WHAT CAN THE FAMILY DO?

From the book: The Secret of FAMILY HAPPINESS