Is There a Rebel in the House?

PERMISSIVE ELI AND RESTRICTIVE REHOBOAM

Something else that has led to teenage rebellion is an unbalanced view off child rearing on the part of the parents.  (Colossians 3:21) Some conscientious parents severely restrict and discipline their children. Others are permissive, not providing guidelines that would protect their inexperienced adolescent. It is not always easy to strike a balance between these two extremes. And different children  have different needs.  One may need more oversight than another.  Still, two Bible examples will help to show the dangers of being extreme in either restrictiveness or permissiveness.

Ancient Israel's high priest Eli was a father.  He served for 40 years, no doubt being well versed in the Law of God.  Eli likely carried out his regular priestly duties quite faithfully and may even have thoroughly taught God's Law to his sons. Hophni and Phinehas. However, Eli  was too indulgent with his sons. Hophni and Phinehas served as officiating priests, but they were "good-for-nothing men," interested only in satisfying their appetites and immoral desires. Yet, when they committed disgraceful acts on sacred ground. Eli  did not have the courage to oust them from office. He merely gave them a feeble rebuke.  By his permissiveness, Eli honored his sons more than God. As  a result, his sons rebelled against Jehovah's clean worship and Eli's whole house suffered calamity. -1 Samuel 2:12,17, 22-25, 29; 3:13, 14; 4:11-22.

Eli's children were already adults when these events took place, but this history underscores the danger of withholding discipline.  (Compare Proverbs 29:21). Some parents may confuse love with  permissiveness, failing to set and enforce clear, consistent, and reasonable rules.  They neglected to  apply loving discipline, even when godly principles are violated. Because of such permissiveness, their children may end up not paying attention to parental or any other type of authority. -Compare Ecclesiastes 8:11. 

Rehoboam exemplifies the other extreme in handling authority. He was the last king of the united kingdom of Israel, but he was not a good king. Rehoboam had inherited a land whose people were discontented because of the burdens placed on them by his father.  Solomon.  Did Rehoboam show understanding?  No.  When a delegation asked him to remove some of the oppressive  measures, he failed to heed mature advice from his older counselors and commanded that the people's yoke be made heavier. His arrogance provoked a rebellion by the ten northern tribes, and the kingdom was ripped in two. -1 Kings 12:1-21; 2 Chronicles 10:19. 

Parents can learn some important lessons from the Bible account of Rehoboam.  They need to "search for Jehovah' in prayer and to examine their child-rearing methods in the light of Bible principles.  (Psalm 105:4)  "Mere oppression may make a wise one act crazy," says Ecclesiastes 7:7. Well thought-out boundaries give adolescents room to grow while protecting them from harm.  But children should not live in an atmosphere that is so rigid and constricting that they are prevented from developing a  reasonable measure of self-reliance and self-confidence. When parents strive for a balance between fair latitude and firm boundaries that are clearly marked, most teenagers will feel less inclined to rebel.  

Next time; Is There a Rebel in the House?/ FILLING BASIC NEEDS CAN PREVENT REBELLION

From the book: The Secret of FAMILY HAPPINESS