CHAPTER SEVEN: Is There a Rebel in the House?

A FEW days before his death, Jesus asked a group of Jewish religious leaders a thoughtful provoking question.  He said: "What do you think? A man had two children. Going up to the first, he said, 'child, go work  today in the vineyard.'  In the answer this one said, 'I will sir,' but he did not go out. Approaching the second, he said the same. In reply this one said, 'I will not.' Afterwards he felt regret and went out.  Which of the two did the will of his father?  The Jewish religious leaders replied:  "The latter." -Matthew 21:38-31. 

Jesus was here highlighting the unfaithfulness of the Jewish leaders.  They were like the first son, promising to do God's will and then not keeping their promise.  But many parents will recognize  that Jesus' illustration was based on a good understanding of family life. As he so well showed, it is often difficult to know what young people are thinking or to predict what they will do.   A young person may cause many problems during his adolescence and then grow up to be a responsible, well-respected adult. This is something to keep in mind when we discuss the problem of teenage rebellion.  

WHAT IS A REBEL?

From time to time, you may hear of teenagers who outrightly rebel against their parents. You may even personally know of a family in which a teenager seems impossible to control. However, it is not always easy to know whether a child  is really a rebel.  Moreover, it can be difficult to understand why some children rebel and others-even from the same household-do not. If parents suspect that one of their children may be developing an out-and-out rebel, what should they do?  To answer this we first have to talk about what a rebel is.

Simply put, a rebel is a person who willfully and consistently disobeys or resists and defies a higher authority. Of course, 'foolishness is in the heart of a child.' (Proverbs 22:15) So all children resit parental authority at one time or another.  This is particularly true during the time of physical and emotional development known as adolescence. A change in any person's life will create stress, and adolescence is all about change. Your teenage son or daughter is moving out of childhood and onto the road to adulthood. For this reason, during  the adolescent years, some parents and children have a hard time getting along.  Often parents instinctively  try to put the brakes on the transition, whereas teenagers want to speed it up. 

A teenager who is a rebel turns his back on parental values. Remember, though, That a few acts of disobedience  do not make a rebel. And when it comes to spiritual matters, some children may at first show little or no interest in Bible truth, but they may not be rebels.  As a parent, do not be quick to pin a label on your child. 

Are the adolescent years of all young people characterized by rebellion against parental authority?  No, no at all. Indeed, the evidence would seem to indicate that only a minority of teenagers display serious adolescent rebellion.  Still, what of a child who obstinately and consistently rebels?  What might provoke such rebellion?

Next time: Is There a Rebel in the House?/CAUSES OF REBELLION

From the book: The Secret of FAMILY HAPPINESS