If Marriage Is at the Breaking Point

GROUNDS FOR SEPARATION

Are there situations that may justify separation or possibly divorce from a marriage mate even if that one has not committed fornication?  Yes, but in such a case,  a Christian is not free to pursue a third party with a view to remarriage.  (Matthew 5:32)   The Bible, while making allowances for such separation, stipulates that the one departing should "remain unmarried or else make up again."  (1 Corinthians 7:11) What are some extreme situations that may make a separation seem advisable?

Well, the family may become destitute because of the gross laziness and bad habits of the husband. He may gamble away the family's income or use it to support and addiction to drugs or alcohol.   The Bible states:  "If anyone does not provide  for . . .members of his household, he has disowned the faith and is worse than a person without faith."  (1 Timothy 5:8)  If such a man refuses to change his ways, perhaps even financing his vices by taking money that his wife earns, the wife may choose to protect her  welfare and that of the children by obtaining a legal separation. 

Such legal action may also be considered if a spouse is extremely violent toward the partner, perhaps repeatedly beating that one to the extent that health and even life are in danger. Additionally, if a spouse constantly tries to force a marriage mate to break God's commands in some way, the threatened mate may also consider separation, especially if matters reach the point  where spiritual life is endangered.  The partner at risk  may conclude that the only way to "obey God as ruler rather than men" is to obtain legal separation. -Acts 5:29.

In all cases of extreme spousal abuse, no one should put pressure on the innocent mate either to separate or to stay with the other.  While mature friends and elders may offer support and Bible-based counsel, these cannot know all the details of what goes on between a husband and a wife. Only Jehovah can see that. Of course, a Christian wife would not be honoring God's marriage arrangement if she used flimsy excuses  to get out of a marriage.  But if an extremely  danger situation persists, no one should criticize her if she chooses to separate.   Exactly the same things could be said concerning a Christian husband who seeks separation. "We shall all stand before the judgment seat of God." -Romans 4:10. 

Next time:  If Marriage Is at the Breaking Point/HOW A BROKEN MARRIAGE WAS SAVED

From the book: The Secret of  FAMILY HAPPINESS