BE EMPATHETIC AND UNDERSTANDING

Honoring our elderly parents requires empathy and understanding. As the years take their toll, older ones may find it increasingly difficult to walk, eat, and remember.  They may need help.  Often the children become protective and try to provide guidance.  But the elderly are adults with a lifetime of accumulated wisdom and experience, a lifetime of caring for themselves and making their own decisions. Their identity and self-respect may center on their role as parents and adults. Parents who feel they must hand over control of their lives to their children may become depressed or angry.  Some resent and resist what they may see as efforts to rob them of their independence.

There are no easy solutions to such problems, but it is a kindness to allow elderly parents to look after themselves and make their own decisions to the extent possible. It is wise not to make decisions about what is best for your parents without talking to them first.  They may have lost much. Allow them to keep what they still have.  You may find that the less you try to control your parents' lives, the better your relationship with them will be.  They will be happier, and so will you.  Even if it is necessary to insist on certain things for their good, honoring your parents requires that you afford them the dignity and respect they deserve.  God's Word counsels:  "Before gray hair you should rise up, and you must show consideration for the person of an old man." -Leviticus 19:32. 

Next time:  MAINTAINING THE RIGHT ATTITUDE 

From the book: THE SECRET OF FAMILY HAPPINESS, 1996