GROUNDS FOR SEPARATION

Are there situations that may justify a separation or possibly divorce from a marriage mate even if that one has not committed fornication?  Yes, but in such a case, a Christian is not free to pursue a third party with a  view to remarriage.    (Matthew 5:32)  The Bible, while making allowances for such separation, stipulates that the one departing should "remain unmarried or else make up again."  (1 Corinthians 7:11)  What are some extreme situations that may make a separation seem advisable?

 (Note: Excuse me, but I have been reading the Bible word for word for many years, and when I finish, I start over and read it again and have done so for years. I have yet to see  excuse to get a divorce other than fornication on a spouse or a physically abused spouse, particularly fornication. Although I agree that there are other situations that may call for a separation or divorce. If that is the case, where do the excuses stop? According to God's Word in the Bible, fornication is the main and most important  reason for a divorce. )

Well, the family may become destitute because of the gross laziness  and bad habits of the husband. (You knew what he was like when you married him, for better or worse. ) He may gamble  away the family's income or use it to support and addiction to drugs or alcohol.  The Bible states"If anyone does not provide for . . .members of his household, he has disowned the faith an dis worse than a person without faith." (1 Timothy 5:8)  If such a man refuses to change his ways, perhaps even financing his vices by taking money that his wife earns, the wife may choose to protect her welfare and that of her children by obtaining a legal separation.   

Such legal action may also be considered if a spouse is extremely violent toward the partner, perhaps repeatedly beating that one to the extent that health and even life are in danger. (Been the victim there, no more)  Additionally, if  a spouse constantly tries to force a marriage mate to break God's commands in some way, the threatened mate may also consider separation, especially if matters reach the point where spiritual life is endangered.  The partner at risk may conclude that the only way to obey God as ruler rather than men  "is to obtain a legal separation. -Acts 5:29)  Note: They abusers never change.  I have spoken to several women who went through the beatings as I have and they do not change!  They are like alcoholics, they have to realize they have a problem first, before they even begin  to start getting help and I do not believe that there is any such thing.  Because Abusers do not show their true colors to their friends or their employees, and usually their relatives as well. So, only the person being abused is the only one who has been shown what their spouse is really like.  No, they do not change! 

In all cases of extreme spousal abuse, no one should put pressure  on the innocent mate either to separate or to stay with the other. (The best defense it a divorce from these evil mean abusers, forget about separation. It won't do any good, I am as much in favor of trying to marriage as anyone else, but for these people, the only remedy is a divorce, plain and simple.) While mature friends and elders may offer support and Bible-based counsel, these cannot know all the details  of what goes on between a husband and a wife.  Only Jehovah can see that. Of course, a Christian wife would not be honoring God's marriage arrangement if she used flimsy  excuses to get out of her marriage.  But if an extremely dangers situation persists, no one should criticize him or her if  he or she chooses to separate.  Exactly the same things could be said  concerning a Christian husband who seeks separation.  "We shall all stand before the judgment seat of God." -Romans 14:10.

Note: Others who have not been in the abused spouse's shoes, should not judge or give advice.  But a lot of people do.  It is like someone who has never had kids, gives advice on how to raise them. It is all a bunch of B.S.  Go to God for advice.  He is the professional here.  He sees EVERYTHING  that goes on in people's lives.  He HEARS everything. He READS your heart and your mind.  I am not kidding here.   So, no one but Jehovah God and the abused person knows the HELL that the abused person goes through.  The abuser brainwashes their victims first,  It starts with a slap on the face, then all Hell breaks lose after that. Excuse my language, but it was and is necessary. 


Next time: HOW A BROKEN MARRIAGE WAS SAVED

From the book;  THE SECRET OF FAMILY HAPPINESS, 1996