HOW TO AVOID DOMESTIC VIOLENCE

Domestic violence begins in the heart and mind; the way we act begins with how we think. (James 1:14, 15) To stop the violence, the abuser needs to transform his way of thinking.  (Romans 12:2)  Is that possible?  (Note: if the abuser sees and admits that he/she has this sickness, if not, there is no hope. Been the victim, it like an alcoholic, they have to see it and admit it first, before they can be helped) Yes, God's Word has the power to change people.  (not if they are unbelievers and don't think they have a  problem to begin with) (2 Corinthians  10:4; Hebrews 4:12)  Accurate knowledge of the Bible can help produce so complete a change in people that they are said to put on a new personality. -Ephesians 4:22-24; Colossians 3:8-10. 

View of marriage mate.  God's Word says: "Husbands ought to be loving their wives as their own bodies. He who loves his wife loves himself."  (Ephesians 5:28) The Bible also says that a husband should assign his wife "honor as to a weaker vessel."  (this means to make sure she has a roof over her head, food, clothing, medical and respect)  Wives are admonished  "to love their husbands" and to have "deep respect for them. (Titus 2:4; Ephesians 5:33) Surely no God-fearing husband can truthfully argue that he really honors his wife if he assaults her physically or verbally or the she assaults him.  And no wife who screams at her husband, addresses him sarcastically, or constantly scolds him can say that she truly loves and respects him. 

Proper view of children.  Children deserve, yes, need, love and attention from their parents.  God's Word calls children "an inheritance from Jehovah" and "a reward." (Psalm 127:3) Parents are responsible before Jehovah to care for that inheritance.   The Bible speaks of  "the traits of a babe" and the "foolishness" of boyhood.  (1 Corinthians 13:11; Proverbs 22:15) Parents should not be surprised  if they encounter foolishness in their children.  Youngsters are not adults. Parents should not demand more than is appropriate for a child's age, family background, and ability. -See Genesis 33:12-14.  

View of elderly parents.  Leviticus 19:32 says:  "Before gray hair you should rise up, (meaning to stand when they come in the room or to acknowledge the fact that they are there and speak with them/not ignore them) and you  must show consideration for the person of an old man."  God's Law thus fostered respect and a high regard for the elderly.  This may be a challenge when an elderly parent seems overly demanding or is ill and perhaps does not move or think quickly.  Still, children are reminded to "keep paying a due compensation to their parents."  (1 Timothy 5:4) This would mean treating them with dignity and respect,perhaps even providing for them financially.  Mistreating elderly parents physically or otherwise absolutely contradicts the way the Bible tells us to act. 

Cultivate self-control.  Proverbs 29:11 says:  "All  his spirit is what  a stupid one lets out, but he that is wise keeps it calm to the last."  How can you control your spirit?  Instead of letting frustration build up inside, act quickly to settle difficulties that arise. (Ephesians 4:26, 27) Leave the scene if you feel yourself losing control.  Pray for God's holy spirit to produce  self-control in you.  (Galatians 5:22, 23) Going for a walk or engaging in some physical exercise may help you control your emotions.  (Proverbs 17:14, 27) Endeavor to be "slow to anger." -Proverbs 14:29. 

Next time: TO SEPARATE OR REMAIN TOGETHER

From the book: THE SECRET OF FAMILY HAPPINESS,  1996