HELPING THE CHILDREN

Serious illnesses can cause problems for children in the family. It is important that parents help the children to understand the needs that have arisen and what they may do to help.  If the one who has become ill  is a child, the siblings must be helped to understand that the extra attention and care the sick one is receiving doe not mean that  the other children are loved any less. Rather than allow resentment or rivalry to develop,  parents can help the other children to form a closer bond with one another and have genuine affection as they cooperate in handling the situation caused by the sickness.  

Young children will usually respond more readily if parents appeal to their feelings rather than to lengthy or complicated explanations about medical conditions.   So they could be given some idea of what the sick family member is going through.  If the healthy children see how the illness prevents the sick one from doing many of the things that they themselves  take for granted, they are likely to have more "brotherly affection" and to be "tenderly compassionate." -1 Peter 3:8.

Older children should be helped to realize that a difficult situation exists and it requires sacrifices on the part of everyone in the family. With doctor's fees and medical bill to pay, it may not be possible for parents to provide the other children as they would like to.  Will the children resent this and feel that they are being deprived? Or will they understand the situation and be willing to make the needed sacrifices?  Much depends on  the way the matter is discussed and the spirit that  is engendered in the family. Indeed, in many families the sickness of a family member has helped in training children to follow Paul's counsel:  "[Do] nothing out of contentiousness or out of egotism, but with lowliness of mind considering that the others are superior to you, keeping an eye, not in personal interest upon just your own matters, but also in personal interest upon those of the others." -Philippians 2:3, 4.

Next time: HOW TO VIEW MEDICAL TREATMENT 

From the book: THE SECRET OF FAMILY HAPPINESS, 1996