MAINTAINING DISCIPLINE

A man may have little trouble being taken seriously as a disciplinarian, but a woman may have problems in this regard. Says one single mother:  "My sons have men's bodies and men's voices.  Sometimes it is hard not to sound indecisive or weak in comparison."  Furthermore, you may still be grieving over the death of a beloved mate, or perhaps you may be feeling guilt or anger over a marital breakup.  If there is shared custody, you may fear that your child prefers being with your former mate.  Such situations can make it difficult to administer balanced discipline. 

The Bible says that  "a boy let on the loose will be causing a mother shame." (Proverbs  29:15) You have the backing of Jehovah God in making and enforcing family rules, so do not give in to guilt, remorse, or fear.  (Proverbs 1:8) Never compromise Bible principles.  (Proverbs 13:24)  Try to be reasonable, consistent, and firm. In time, most children will respond. Still, you will want to take the feelings of your children into consideration.  Says one single father:  "My discipline had to be tempered with understanding because of the shock of losing their mother.  I talk to them every opportunity.  We have 'cozy moments' when we prepare dinner.  It is then that they really confide in me."

If you are divorced, nothing good is accomplished by undermining respect for your former mate. Parental bickering is painful for children and will ultimately weaken their respect for both of you.  Hence, avoid making hurtful remarks like:  "You're just like your father!" Whatever pain your ex-mate may have caused you, he or she is still the parent of your child, who needs the love, attention and discipline of both parents. 

As discussed in previous chapters, discipline involves training and instruction, not just punishment.  Many problems can be averted by a good program of spiritual training.  (Philippians 3:16) Regular attendance at Christian meetings is essential.  (Hebrews 10:24, 25) So is having a weekly Bible study. True, it is not easy to keep such a study going.  "After a day's work,m you really want to relax," says one conscientious mother.  "But I prepare myself mentally to study with my daughter, knowing it is something that needs to be done.  She really enjoys our family study!"

The apostle Paul's companion Timothy was evidently given his training in Bible principles by his mother and his grandmother-but apparently not by his father.  Yet, what an outstanding Christian Timothy became!  (Acts 16:1, 2; 2 Timothy 1:5; 3:14, 15)  You can likewise hope for favorable results as you strive to raise your children "in the discipline and mental regulating of Jehovah." -Ephesians 6:4. 

Next time: WINNING THE BATTLE AGAINST LONELINESS

From the book: THE SECRET OF FAMILY HAPPINESS, 1996