HELP FOR THE FAMILY/MARRIAGE

How to Strengthen Commitment

WHAT YOU CAN DO

Examine your speech.   In the heat of a disagreement with your spouse, refrain from saying things that you will later regret, such as "I'm leaving you!" or, "I'm going to find someone who appreciates me!"  Such statements undermine commitment, and rather than address the issue at hand, they merely involve the two of you in an onslaught of insults. Instead of hurtful speech, you might say something like this:  "Obviously, we're both upset. How can we work together to resolve this problem?" -Bible principle:  Proverbs 12:18. 

Send out clear 'commitment signals.'  Keep a photo of your spouse on your desk at work. Talk positively about your marriage to others. Make it a goal to call your spouse each day while you are away. Frequently talk about "we," and use phrases such as "my wife and I" or "my husband and I."  By such actions, you will emphasize to others -and to yourself-that you are committed to your spouse. 

Find healthy role models.  Look to mature couples who have weathered marital problems successfully.  Ask them," What does commitment mean to you, and how has it helped in your marriage?"  The Bible says:  "As iron sharpens  iron, so one man sharpens his friend."  (Proverbs 27:17)  With that principle in mind, why not benefit from the advice of those who have made their marriage a success?

KEY SCRIPTURES

* What God has yoked together, let no man put apart." -Matthew 19:6

* Each one will carry his own load of responsibility." -Galatians 6:5. 

* Thoughtless speech is like the stabs of a sword, but the tongue of the wise is a healing." -Proverbs 12:18.  

COMMITMENT AND LOYALTY

"If you and a mate are loyal to each other, you enjoy a sense of permanence about your union. When you think about the months, years, and decades ahead, you  see yourselves together in the picture. The thought of not being married to each other is utterly foreign, and this outlook brings security to your relationship. One wife says:  'Even when I'm the most angriest at [my husband] and I'm most upset about what is happening to us, I'm not worrying about our marriage  coming to an end.  I'm worried about how we are ever going to get back-I just can see how right then.' " - From the September 15, 1003 issue of The Watchtower. 

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