Rebuilding Trust In a Marriage/Keys to Family Happiness

3. Replace Old Habits With New.
After warning his listeners against adultery, Jesus counseled:  "If, now, that right eye of yours is making you stumble, tear it out and throw it away from you."  (Matthew 5:27-29)  If you are the offending mate, can you think of actions or attitudes that, for the sake of your marriage, should  be torn out and thrown away? 

Obviously, you need to break off contact with the other party in  the adultery. (Proverbs 6:32; 1 Corinthians 15:33)   Paul quoted earlier, changed his work schedule and his cell-phone number so that he no longer interacted with the other woman.  However, those efforts failed to break all contact. Paul was so determined to rebuilt trust with his wife that he left his job. He also got rid of his cell phone and used only his wife's phone. Has the inconvenience  been the effort? His wife, Debbie, says:  "It has been six years, and I still occasionally worry that she will still try to make contact.  But I now trust Paul will not succumb to temptation."

If you are the guilty mate, you may also need to make changes to your personality. For example,  you may have a flirtatious manner, or you may enjoy fantasizing about romantic relationships with other people.  If so, "strip off the old personality with its practices."  Rebuild former habits with new ones that will strengthen your mate's confidence in you.  (Colossians 3:9, 10) Has your upbringing made it difficult for you to express affection?  Even if it feels awkward at first, be generous in your expressions of  love and reassurance to your spouse.   Steve recalls:  "Jodi would often show affection with a touch of her hand, and she regularly said 'I love you.'"

For a time, you would do well to be completely open about your daily activities. Mi Young, mentioned earlier, states: Chul Soo made a point of telling me everything that happened during each day, even the  most important things, in an attempt to show me he had nothing to hide."

TRY THIS: Ask each other what actions are likely to help rebuild trust. List them, and then put them into practice. Also, add to your routine some activities that you can enjoy together.

Next time: Rebuilding Trust In a Marriage/Keys to Family Happiness - 4. Know When to Move On.

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