Rebuilding Trust In a Marriage/Keys to Family Happiness

4. Know When to Move On

Do not be quick to conclude that it is time to start living as if everything were back to normal.  Proverbs 21:5 cautions:  "Everyone that is hasty surely heads for want."  It will take time-perhaps years-to restore trust.

If you are the betrayed mate, allow yourself time to forgive fully. Mi Young recalls:  "I used to think it was strange if a wife could not forgive her unfaithful husband. I could not understand why she would be so angry for so long. However, when my husband was  unfaithful to me, I understood why forgiveness is difficult."  Forgiveness-and trust-are likely to come gradually.

That said, Ecclesiastes 3:1-3 states that there is "a time to heal." At first, you may feel that isolating yourself emotionally from your spouse is the safest course.  However, doing so indefinitely  will not help you to rebuild trust in your mate. To heal the breach, forgive your mate and express that forgiveness by sharing your intimate thoughts and feelings with your spouse. Also encourage your mate to share his or her joys and concerns.

Do not nurture bitterness. Work to overcome it.  (Ephesians 4:3) You may find it helpful to meditate on God's own example. He was deeply hurt when his worshippers in ancient Israel turned away from him. Jehovah God likened himself to a betrayed marriage mate.  (Jeremiah 3:8, 9; 9:2)   But he did not "stay resentful to tome indefinite." (Jeremiah 3:12)  When his people returned to him in genuine repentance, he forgave them.  

Eventually, when both of you are satisfied that the necessary changes in your relationship have been made, you will gain a sense of security.  Then, instead of giving constant attention  to merely saving your marriage, you can focus together on other goals.   Even so, schedule regular periods of time to evaluate your progress.   Do not become complacent. Deal with minor setbacks, and confirm your commitment to each other. -Galatians 6:9. 

TRY THIS:  Instead of trying to get your marriage back to the way it was, think of yourselves as building a new and stronger relationship.  

Next time: Rebuilding Trust In a Marriage/Keys to Family Happiness -You Can Succeed

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