A Focus OF THE SOVIET ATTACK - Efforts to Cope With Growth

In time, the Soviets tried different methods to stop Jehovah's Witnesses.  Since vicious persecution had failed to produce the desired results.  a well-planed program of  lying propaganda was initiated.  Books, films, and radio programs-as well as the infiltration of congregations by trained KGB agents-ere all tried.

The widespread misrepresentation cause many people to view the Witnesses with fear and distrust, as evidenced by an article in the August  1982 Reader's Digest.  Canadian  Edition. It was written by Vladimir Bukovsky, a Russian who was allowed to immigrate  to England in 1976.  He wrote:  "One evening in London, I happened to notice as plaque on a building that read:  JEHOVAH"S WITNESSES . . . I couldn't read any further.  I was stupefied , almost to the point of panic."  

Vladimir explained why he was needlessly fearful:  "These are the cultists whom the authorities use as boogeymen in our country to try to scare children . . .In the U.S.S.R., you meet flesh and blood 'Witnesses' only in prison and concentration camps.  And here I was in front of a building, a plaque.  Could anyone actually go in and have a cup of tea with them?" he asked. To emphasize his reason for alarm. Vladimir concluded:  "The 'Witnesses'  are pursued in our country with as much fury as the Mafia in theirs, and they mystery that surrounds them is the same." 

Yet, despite vicious persecution and lying propaganda, the Witnesses persevered and increased in numbers.  Such Soviet books as The Truths About Jehovah's Witnesses, with a printing in Russian in 1978 of 100,000 copies, suggested the need for stepped up anti-Witness propaganda.  The author V.V. Konik, who described how the Witnesses were carrying on their preaching in the face of severe restrictions, advised:  "Soviet researchers on religion should learn more effective methods for overcoming the teachings of Jehovah's Witnesses." 

Next time: A Focus OF THE SOVIET ATTACK -Why the Focus of Attack? 

From the jw.org publications 

THE SOVIET ATTACK ON RELIGION/A Focus OF THE SOVIET ATTACK

ONE OF THOUSANDS-Fyodor Kalin Describes His Family's Exile

Our family lived in the village of Vishanitsa in western Ukraine.  In the morning darkness of April 8, 1951, officers with dogs cane from the government in Moscow,we were being sent to Siberia.  But if we signed a document saying that we were no longer Jehovah's Witnesses, we could stay.  Our family of seven, including my parents and siblings were determine to remain Witnesses. I was then 19 years old. 

One officer said:  "Take along beans, corn, flour, pickles, cabbage-otherwise how are you going to feed the children?"  We were also allowed to butcher some chickens  and a pig and to take the meat with us.  Two horse-drawn carts were brought, and everything was loaded into them and taken to the town of Hriplin.  There, about 40 or 50 of us were crammed into a freight car, and the door was shut.

The car had a few planks for us to sleep on-not enough for everyone-and a stove with some coal and wood. We cooked on the stove, using cookware we had brought. But there was no toilet-we simply used a bucket.  Later, we made a round opening in the floor, fixed the bucket in it, and hung blankets around it for privacy.

We lived cramped together in that freight car as we slowly made our way thousands of  miles to an unknown destination. At first, we were somewhat downhearted.  But as we sang Kingdom songs together-with such vigor that later we could hardly speak-we felt joyful.  The commander would open the doors and tell us to stop, but would not stop until we had finished. When we stopped at the stations along the way, many learned  that Jehovah's Witnesses were being sent into exile.  Finally, after 17 or 18 days in that freight car, we were dropped off in Siberia near Lake Baikal. 

Next time: A focus OF THE SOVIET ATTACK -Efforts to Cope With Growths

From the jw.org publications 

THE SOVIET ATTACK ON RELIGION/A Focus OF THE SOVIET ATTACK

What the Exile Accomplished

The Soviets soon learned that stopping the Witnesses from worshiping Jehovah would be much more difficult than they had imagined. Despite the protests of their captors, the Witnesses sang praises to Jehovah while being forced  into exile and hung signs on their railway cars that said:  "Jehovah's Witnesses on Board."  One Witness explained:  "At the railroad stations along the way, we met other trains carrying those being exiled, and we saw the signs that were hung on the railway cars."  What encouragement that provided!

So rather than being disheartened, those being exiled reflected the spirit of Jesus' apostles.  The Bible says that  after these were flogged and ordered to stop preaching,  "they continued without let up teaching and declaring the good news about the Christ."  (Acts 5:40-42) Indeed, as Kolarz said about the exile,  "this is not the end of the  'Witnesses' in Russia, but only the beginning  of a new chapter in their proselytizing activities.  The even tried to propagate their faith when they stopped at stations on their way into exile."

When the Witnesses arrived at their various destinations and were dropped off, they gained a good reputation for being obedient hard workers. Yet, at the same time,, in imitation of Christ's apostles, they, in effect, told their oppressors:  'We cannot stop speaking about our God.'  (Acts 4:20)  Many listened to what the Witnesses taught and joined them in serving God.  

The consequence was just as Kolarz explained:  "In deporting  them the Soviet Government could have nothing better for the dissemination of their faith. Out of their village Isolation [in the western Soviet republics] the 'Witnesses' were brought into a wider world, even if this was only the terrible world of concentration and slave labor camps." 

Next time:  THE SOVIET ATTACK ON RELIGION/ A Focus OF THE SOVIET ATTACK - ONE OF  THOUSANDS Fyodor Kalin Describes His Family's Exile

From the jw.org publications 

THE SOVIET ATTACK ON RELIGION/A Focus ON THE SOVIET ATTACK

Worthy of Remembrance

Can you imagine the effort involved in that attack-in one day rounding up thousands of families of Witnesses throughout such a large area?  Think of coordinating hundreds, if not thousands, of personnel-first of all to identify the Witnesses and then, under cover of darkness, to carry out simultaneous surprise raids on their homes.   Following that there was the work of loading the people into carts, wagons,  and other vehicles; taking them to railroad stations; and transferring them to freight cars. 

Think, too, of the suffering of the victims.  Can you imagine what it was like to be forced to travel thousands of miles-for up to three weeks or more-in overcrowded, unsanitary  freight cars that had only one bucket for toilet facilities? And try to imagine being dumped off in the Siberian wilderness, knowing  that in order to survive, you would have to eke out an existence in that harsh environment.

April 1951 marks the 50th anniversary of exile of Jehovah's Witnesses. To tell the story of their faithfulness despite decades of persecution, the experiences of survivors have been videotaped. These reveal that-even as was the case with first-century Christians - attempts to prevent people from worshiping God are ultimately doomed to failure.

Next time: THE SOVIET ATTACK ON RELIGION/A Focus ON THE SOVIET ATTACK -What the Exile  Accomplished

From the jw.org publications 

THE SOVIET ATTACK ON RELIGION/A Focus OF THE SOVIET ATTACK

Attacks Are Initiated

Despite the relatively number of Witnesses in the Soviet Union, their zealous preaching activity soon came under attack by Soviet authorities. In Estonia the attack began in August 1948 when the five individuals taking the lead the work were arrested and put in prison.  "Soon it was apparent that the KGB wanted to arrest everyone," noted Estonian Witness Lembit Toom.  This was true wherever Witnesses were found in the Soviet Union.

The Soviets depicted Witnesses as the worst of criminals and as major threat to the atheistic Soviet State. So, everywhere, the were hunted down, arrested, and imprisoned.  The Sword and the Shield observed:  "The KGB's obsession with these Witnesses was, perhaps, the supreme example of their lack of any sense of proportion when dealing with even the most insignificant forms of dissent."

This obsession was dramatically evidenced by the well-planned attack carried out against the Witnesses. In April 1951.  Just two years ago, in 1999, Professor Sergei Ivanenko, a respected Russian scholar, observed in his book The People Who Are Never Without Their Bibles that in early April 1951,  "more than 5,00 families of Jehovah's Witnesses from the Ukrainian, Byelorussian, Moldavian, and Baltic Soviet republics were sent to 'a permanent settlement' in Siberia, the Far East, and Kazakhstan." 

Next time: THE SOVIET ATTACK ON RELIGION/A Focus OF THE SOVIET ATTACK - Worthy  of Remembrance 

From the jw.org publications 

A SOVIET ATTACK ON RELIGION/A Focus ON THE SOVIET ATTACK

Dramatic Increase Begins

In his book Religion in the Soviet Union, published in 1961, Walter Kolarz noted two factors responsible for this dramatic increase.  One, he noted, was that "the territories annexed by the Soviet Union in 1939-40" -Latvia, Lithuania, Estonia, and Moldavia-had within them many  "active groups of Jehovah's Witnesses."  In addition, parts of eastern Poland and Czechoslovakia, which included over a thousand Witnesses, were also annexed by the Soviet Union, becoming part of Ukraine.  Thus, all these Witnesses were transplanted overnight, as it were, into the Soviet Union.

Further increase,  "unbelievable as it may sound," Kolarz wrote, came from  'the German concentration camps."  The Nazis had imprisoned thousands of Witnesses for refusing to support Hitler and his war of aggression.  Kolarz explained that Russian prisoners in these camps "had admired their courage and steadfastness of the 'Witnesses' and probably for that reason found their theology attractive."  As a result, many young Russians from these camps returned to the Soviet Union with a newfound faith in Jehovah God and his wonderful purposes for the earth. -Psalm 37:29; Revelation 21:33, 4. 

Because of such factors, there quickly came to be thousands of Witnesses in the Soviet Union.  By early 1946, there were at least 1,600 and by the end of the decade, well over 8,000.  This growth was observed  with alarm by the KGB, which, as noted before, was especially concerned about the "activities of those Christians over whom it had no direct control.

Next time: A SOVIET ATTACK ON RELIGION/A Focus ON THE SOVIET ATTACK -Attacks Are Initiated

From the jw.org publications

A SOVIET ATTACK ON RELIGION/A Focus OF THE SOVIET ATTACK

DESPITE concessions made to the Russian Orthodox Church in order to win World War II, the Soviet Union maintained a stranglehold  on the church's activities. Therefore, as The Sword and the Shield, a book written in 1999 about the history of the KGB (the Soviet Security Committee), observed, "the KGB was far more concerned by the 'subversive' activities of those Christians over  whom it had no direct control." Which religious groups were these?

The largest was the Greek Catholic  Church of Ukraine, which now is the Ukrainian Catholic Church.  It had some 4,000,000 adherents. According to The Sword and the Shield,  "all but two of its ten bishops, along with  many thousands of priests and believers, died for their faith in the Siberian gulag [work camps]."  Other targets of the KGB were the unregistered Protestant churches, which were also outside direct State control.  In the late 1950's, the KGB estimated that these Protestant groups had a combined total of some 100,000 members. 

The KGB considered Jehovah's Witnesses to be a Protestant group, whom they estimated in 1968 to number about 20,000 in the Soviet Union. Up until the beginning of World War II in 1939, the Witnesses had been small in number. Thus, little or not note had been taken  of them. But the situation changed dramatically when thousands of Witnesses suddenly appeared in the Soviet Union.  How did this occur? 

Next time: A SOVIET UNION ATTACK ON RELIGION/A Focus OF THE SOVIET ATTACK - Dramatic Increase Begins 

From the jw.org publications 

THE SOVIET ATTACK ON RELIGION

World War II  and Religion

In 1939, Nazi Germany, than an ally of the Soviet Union, invaded Poland, thus beginning World War II.  Within a year the Soviet Union has absorbed the last 4 of its 15 republics-Latvia, Lithuania, Estonia, and Moldavia.  In  June 1941, however, Germany launched a massive attack on the Soviet Union, which took Stalin totally by surprise.  By the end of the year, German troops has reached the outskirts of Moscow, and the fall of the Soviet Union appeared imminent.

In desperation, Stalin sought to mobilize the nation for what the Russians called the Great Patriotic War. Stalin recognized that he needed to make concessions to the church to win the support of the people for the war effort, since millions of them still remained religions. What was the result of the spectacular reversal of Stalin's policy toward religion?  

With the cooperation of the church, the Russian people were mobilized for the war effort, and by 1945 a dramatic Soviet victory over the Germans were realized.  After the Soviet attack on religion was suspended, the number of Orthodox churches  increased to 25,000, and the number of priests reached 33,000.  

Attack Renewed

In reality, though, the goal of the Soviet leaders, to eradicate the concept of God from the minds of their people had not changed.  The Encyclopedia Britannica explains:  "A new anti-religious move was initiated by Prime Minister Nikita Khrushchev in 1959-64, reducing the number of open churches to less than 1,000. Patriarch Pimen was elected in 1971 following Alexis' death, and although the church still commanded the loyalty of millions, its future remained uncertain." 

Later we will discuss how the Russian Orthodox Church succeeded in surviving the renewed Soviet attack.  But how did other religions in the Soviet Union fare?  Of these, which one became a chief focus of the attack, and why? This will be discussed in the following article.

Next time: THE SOVIET ATTACK ON RELIGION -A Focus OF THE SOVIET ATTACK 

From the jw.org publications 

RELIGION IN RUSSIA WHAT IS ITS FUTURE?/THE SOVIET ATTACK ON RUSSIA

THE Union of Soviet Socialist Republics was formed in 1922, with Russia being by far the largest and most prominent of its original four republics.  It eventually expanded to include 15 republics and nearly one sixth of earth's land surface. But in 1991 the Soviet Union was suddenly dissolved.  Significantly, it was the first state to attempt to eradicate belief in God from the minds of its people.  

Vladimir Lenin, the first head of the Socialist Union, was a disciple of Karl Marx, who portrayed Christianity as a tool of oppression.  Marx called religion "the opium of the people," and Lenin later declared:  "Any religious  idea, any idea of god at all, . . . is the most inexpressible foulness."

When the Russian Orthodox Patriarch Tikhon died  in 1925, the church was not permitted to elect another patriarch.  The attack on religion that followed resulted in most church buildings being destroyed  or converted to secular uses. Priests were condemned to slave-labor camps, where many perished.   "Under the rule of Joseph Stalin in the late 1920's and '30's," explains the Encyclopedia Britannica,  "the church suffered a blood persecution that claimed thousands of victims. By 1939 only three or four Orthodox bishops and 100 churches could officially function."  Practically overnight, however, a remarkable change occurred. 

Next time: THE SOVIET ATTACK ON RELIGION -World War II and Religion

From the jw.org publications 

Family Happiness/When a Spouse Has Special Needs

Try to Maintain a Positive Outlook

The Bible warns: "Do not say: 'Why has it happened that the former days proved to be better than these?'"  (Ecclesiastes 7:10)  So avoid dwelling on what might have been.  Remember that in this world, all happiness is limited in some way.  The key here is to accept your situation and make the best of it.

What can help you and your mate in this regard?  Discuss your blessings together. Take delight in even the smallest improvements in your health. Find things to look forward to, and set reachable goals together. 

A couple  named Shoji and Akiko have applied the above advice with good results. At  one point after Akiko was diagnosed with fibromyalgia, they had to leave a special assignment in the full-time ministry. Were they disappointed?  Naturally. Yet, Shoji advises any in similar circumstances:  "Do not discourage yourself by thinking about things that you can no longer do. Keep a positive outlook. Even if you both have the hope of returning to a normal routine someday, concentrate  for now on your life as it is.  For me, that means focusing my attention on my wife and helping her."  Such practical advice can help you too if your spouse has special needs.  

ASK YOURSELF . . .

What do my mate and I most need to do right now?

* Talk more about the illness

* Talk less about the illness

* Worry less

* Show more consideration for each other

* Have a mutual interest outside the illness

* Have more social contact

* Have mutual goals 

Next time: RELIGION IN RUSSIA/WHAT IS IT S FUTURE? -THE SOVIET ATTACK ON RELIGION 

From the jw.org publications

Family Happiness/When a Spouse Has Special Needs

Have a Balanced Schedule

"For everything there is an appointed time," wrote King Solomon.  (Ecclesiastes 3:1)  However, it may seem impossible to maintain a balanced schedule, given the disrupting effect that a chronic illness can have on a family's routine. What can you do to achieve at least a measure of balance?

Together you might take regular breaks from medical concerns.  Can you still enjoy some of the things you shared before illness struck?  if not, what new activities can you try?  It could be something as simple as reading to each other or as challenging as learning a new language.  Having a life together outside the illness will strengthen  your  "one flesh" bond-and increase your happiness.

Another aid to maintaining balance is being in the company of others.  The Bible states at Proverbs  18:1:  "One isolating himself will seek his own selfish longing; against all practical wisdom he will break forth."   Did you note in that verse that isolation can have an undesirable effect on the mind? By contrast, periodic association with others can lift your spirits and help restore mental perspective. Why not take the initiative to invite someone to visit you?

At times, balance becomes a problem for caregiving spouses.  Some take on too much work, slowly wear down, and endanger their own health.  Eventually, they may even render themselves unable to continue providing care for their beloved mate. So if you are taking care of a chronically ill spouse, do not ignore your personal needs.  Set aside regular quiet time to refresh yourself.   Some have found it therapeutic to talk out their anxieties from time to time with a trusted friend of the same sex.

TRY THIS: List on paper the obstacles you face in taking  care of your mate.  Then make a list of steps you might take to overcome these or to cope with them more effectively.  Instead of over analyzing them, ask yourself, 'What is the simplest, most obvious way to improve the situation?'

Next time: Family Happiness/When a Spouse Has Special Needs - Try to Maintain a Positive Outlook

From the jw.org publications 

Family Happiness/When a Spouse Has Special Needs

What, then, is the key to happiness under such circumstances?  For one thing, those who retain a healthy measure of satisfaction and contentment in their marriage view  the illness as an assault not only on the ailing spouse but on the two of them as a couple. After all, if one mate is sick, both are deeply affected, even if in different ways.  This interdependent relationship between a husband and wife is described at Genesis 2:24: "A man will leave his father and his mother and he must stick to his wife and they must become one flesh."   Thus, when a spouse has an ongoing physical ailment, it is critical that both husband and wife work together to meet the challenge.

Additionally, research shows that couples who maintain a good relationship in the face of chronic illness accept their situation and learn effective ways to adapt to it.  Many of the coping skills that they have learned echo the timeless advice found in the Bible. Consider the following three suggestions.  

Show Consideration for One Another

"Two are better than one," states Ecclesiastes 4:9.  Why? Because, explains verse 10, "if one of them should fall, the other one can raise his partner up."  Do you 'raise your partner up' with expressions of appreciation?

Are you able to look for ways to be of practical assistance to each other?  Yong, whose wife is partially paralyzed, says:  "I try to be considerate of my wife on every occasion.  Whenever I feel thirsty, I consider that she too might be thirsty. If I want to go outside and view the beautiful scenery, I ask her if she would like to join me. We are sharing the pain and enduring the  situation together.'

On the other hand,if you are receiving care from your mate, are there certain things  that you can do for yourself without threatening your health?  If so, this can  boost your feelings of self-worth and may contribute  to your mate's ability to continue providing care. 

Rather than assume that you know the best way to show consideration for your spouse, why not ask  him or her what would be most appreciated?  Nancy, mentioned at the outset, eventually told her husband how she was affected by not knowing the family's  financial status. Now her husband endeavors to be more communicative in this regard.  

TRY THIS: List ways that you feel your mate  can make your present situation a little easier, and have your spouse do the same.  Then switch lists.  Each of you should select one or two suggestions that can realistically be implemented.

Next time: Family Happiness/ When a Spouse Has Special Needs 

From the jw.org publications 

Family Happiness/When a Spouse Has a Chronic Illness

When a Spouse Has Special Needs

Since I was diagnosed with chronic fatigue syndrome, my husband has had to do all the secular work.  But he never talks to me about our bills.  Why does he leave me completely in the dark like this?  Our finances must be in such bad shape that he knows I'll panic if I find out. -Nancy.

MARRIAGE can be a challenge, but when one mate becomes chronically ill while the other remains healthy, complications can multiply.  Are you caring for an infirm mate?  If so, do any of the following questions worry you; 'How will I cope  if my mate's health declines even further?  How long  an I continue to take care of my mate and also do all the cooking, cleaning, and secular work?  Why do I feel guilty for being the healthy one?

On the other hand, if you are the ailing spouse, you might wonder: "How can I respect myself when I'm unable to carry my responsibility?  Does my mate resent  me for being sick?  Is our happiness  as a couple over?' 

Sadly, some marriages have not survived the strain caused by a chronic illness. Yet, this does not mean that your marriage is doomed to failure. 

Many couples survive and even thrive despite the presence of a chronic ailment.  Consider, for example, Yoshiaki and Kazuko.  A spinal injury rendered Yoshiaki unable to  make even the slightest movement without assistance.  Kazuko explains:  'My husband needs assistance with everything.  As a result of caring for him, my neck, shoulders, and  arms ache, and I am an outpatient at an orthopedic hospital, Kazuko says:  "Our bond as a  couple has become stronger." 

Next time: Continue with When a Spouse Has Special Needs

From the jw.org publications 

Happy Family/Be Loyal to Each Other

"What God has yoked together, let no man put apart." -Mark 10:9.

Jehovah requires us to "cherish loyalty."  (Micah 6:8) This is especially important in your marriage because without loyalty, there is no trust. And trust is essential for love to flourish.

Today, loyalty in marriage is under attack.  To protect your marriage, you must be determined to do two things. 

1. MAKE YOUR MARRIAGE A PRIORITY

WHAT THE BIBLE SAY:  "Make sure of the more important things."  (Philippines 1:10) Your marriage is one of the most important things in your life.  It deserves priority.

Jehovah wants you to focus on your mate and "enjoy life" together.   (Ecclesiastes 9:9) He makes it clear that you should never neglect your mate but, rather, you both should look for ways to make each other happy.  (1 Corinthians 10:24)  Make your mate feel needed and appreciated. 

WHAT YOU CAN DO: 

* Make sure that you regularly spend time together, giving your mate your undivided attention. Think of "we" instead of "me." 

2. SAFEGUARD YOUR HEART 

WHAT THE BIBLE SAYS:  "Everyone who keeps on looking at woman  so as  to have a passion for her has already committed adultery with her in his heart." (Matthew 5:28)    (Note: And keep in mind that Jehovah can read your heart and your mind, so he knows can tell if you are feeling this emotion at the time)
If someone keeps thinking about immoral things, in sense, he is being unfaithful to his wife.  

Jehovah says that you need to "safeguard your heart."  (Proverbs 4:23; Jeremiah 17:9)   To do this, you must guard your eyes.  (Matthew 5:29, 30)  Follow the patriarch Job, who made a covenant with his eyes never to look with desire at another woman. (Job 31:1) Be determine never to view pornography. And be resolved to avoid any romantic attachment to a person other than your mate.

WHAT YOU CAN DO: 

* Make it obvious to others that you are completely committed to your mate

* Consider your mate's feelings, and immediately end any relationship that would make your mate uncomfortable

DO YOUR PART 

Be with yourself, and identify your weaknesses.  (Psalm 15:2) Do not be embarrassed to ask for help.  (Proverbs 1:5) If you have immoral thoughts, keep on fighting them. Do not be discouraged.  (Proverbs 24:16)  Jehovah will bless your efforts to remain loyal to your mate.

ASK YOURSELF . . .

* How can I make time for my mate?

* Is my mated my best friend? 

Next time:  Family Happiness/ When a Spouse Has a Chronic Illness - When a Spouse Has Special Needs

From the jw.org publications 

KEYS TO FAMILY HAPPINESS/Making a Second Marriage Work

CHALLENGE 3: YOU STRUGGLE TO TRUST YOUR NEW MATE BECAUSE YOUR FIRST SPOUSE WAS DISLOYAL.

"I used to be terrified of being betrayed again," says Andrew, whose first wife left him. Later, he remarried his present wife, Riley.   "I often wondered if I could ever be as good as Riley's first husband.  I even worried that she would decide I wasn't good enough and then leave me for someone else."

SUGGESTION:  Freely share your concerns with your wife:  "There is a frustrating of plans where there is no confidential talk," the Bible says. (Proverbs 15:22)  Confidential talk eventually helped Andrew and Riley to trust each other.   "I told Riley that I would never resort to divorce as an easy way out of problems,"  Andrew says, "and Riley assured me of the same thing.  Gradually, I've come to trust her implicitly."

If your present mate was betrayed in an earlier marriage, take deliberate steps to earn your mate's trust.  For example, Michel and Sabine, whose first marriages ended in divorce agreed to tell each other if they had any contact with their former spouses.   "This commitment made us feel safe and secure," says Sabine. -Ephesians 4:25. 

TRY THIS: Set limits on private communication with the opposite sex, whether in person, or on the phone, or online.

Many second marriages have succeeded and yours can too.  After all, compared to the first time you married, you likely know yourself better.  "I have found immeasurable comfort in my marriage to Riley," says Andrew, quoted earlier.  "After 13 years of marriage, we have a very close relationship-one that we never want to lose." 

ASK YOURSELF . . .

* What are some of the unique qualities of my mate that I especially value?

* If the topic of my first marriage comes up, how can I handle the subject in a way that reassures and dignifies my current mate?

Next time:  Happy Family/Be Loyal to Each Other

From the jw.org publications  

KEYS TO FAMILY HAPPINESS/Making a Second Marriage Work

CHALLENGE 2: YOU STRUGGLE TO INTERACT WITH OLD FRIENDS WHO ARE UNFAMILIAR WITH YOUR NEW SPOUSE.

"For some time after we were married, my wife felt that a few of my friends were analyzing her and testing her out," says Javier, who remarried six years  after his divorce. A husband named Leo faced a different situation. He relates:  "Some people told my wife how much they loved and missed her former husband-right in front of me!"

SUGGESTION:   Try to put yourself in your friends' shoes.  "I think old friends sometimes find it very painful and awkward  to associate with someone who is just one half of the couple they have known," says Ian, quoted earlier. So "be reasonable, exhibiting all" mildness toward people.  (Titus 3:2)  Allow time for your friends and family to adjust. As your marriage has changed, so your friendships may change too.  Javier, quoted previously says that as time passed, he and his wife rekindled old friendships.  "But we also try to make new friends as a couple," he adds, "and that helps us too."

Consider your mate's feelings when you spend time with old friends.  For example,  if your first marriage comes up in conversation, use tact and good judgment so that your current mate does not feel excluded.  "If a person speaks words without thinking," says a Bible proverb,  "then those words can hurt like a sword. But a wise person is careful with the things he says. His  words can heal those hurts." -Proverbs 12:18, Holy Bible -Easy-to-Read Version. 

TRY THIS: Anticipate social events that could be awkward for you or your mate.  In advance, discuss  the best way to handle your friends' questions and comments about a first marriage.

Next time: KEYS TO FAMILY HAPPINESS/Making a Second Marriage Work

From the jw.org publications

KEYS TO FAMILY HAPPINESS/Making a Second Marriage Work

CHALLENGE 1:  YOU STRUGGLE TO KEEP AND EARLIER MARRIAGE FROM OVERSHADOWING YOU CURRENT MARRIAGE.

"I can't simply erase memories of my first marriage, especially when we travel  to the same places where my ex-husband and I went on vacation,"  says Ellen, who lives in South Africa.  "Sometimes I end up comparing my current husband to my former husband." On the other hand, if your mate was previously married, you may resent it if your mate often talks about that marriage. 

SUGGESTION: Accept the face that it is unrealistic to expect that you or your mate will simply forget a first marriage, especially if it lasted several years.  In fact, some people admit that they have accidentally called their mate  by the name of their previous spouse! How can deal with a such a situation or similar ones?  "Try to understand each other," advises the Bible. -1 Peter 3:8, New Century Version.

Do not jealously forbid all mention of a first marriage.  If your mate feels the need to talk about the life with his or her first spouse, listen sympathetically and compassionately. Also, do not hastily  conclude that you are being compared.  "My wife Kaitlyn never viewed the topic of my late wife as taboo," says Ian, who remarried ten years ago.  "Rather, she saw it as a way to learn what made me who i am today."  You may even find that such conversations will help you to build a closer friendship with your new mate.

Focus on your present mate's unique and positive qualities.  True, you mate may lack certain qualities that your former spouse had.  But your current mate likely excels in other areas.   Therefore, strengthen the foundation of your present marriage, "not in comparison with the other person," but by reflecting on and appreciating what you love about your mate.  (Galatians 6:4)  A man named Edmond, who has been married twice, puts it this way,  "Just as no two friendships are the same, so no two marriages are the same." 

How can  you balance fond memories of your first marriage with the life you have started with your new mate?"  I once explained to my wife that my first marriage was like a beautiful book written by my first wife and me," says Jared.  "From time to time, I may open and read that book and reflect on that   our good experiences.  But I don't live in that book. Rather, my wife and I are rewriting  our own book together, and this is where  I now live happily."

TRY THIS: Ask your mate whether he or she feels awkward when the topic of a first marriage arises. Identify times when it would be best not to talk about a first marriage.

Next time: KEYS TO FAMILY HAPPINESS/Making a Second Marriage Work 

From the jw.org publications 

Family Happiness/ KEYS TO FAMILY HAPPINESS

Making a Second Marriage Work

Herman:  "My first wife died of cancer after we had been married for 34 years.   When I remarried, my wife Linda felt that I was always comparing her to my first wife.  To make matters worse, old friends often talked about my late wife's fine qualities, and this  upset Linda."

Linda:  "After Herman and I married, I felt that I was living in the shadow of his first wife. She was so well-loved, soft-spoken, and refined. Sometimes I wonder if I will ever be as close to him as she was."

Herman and Linda are happy that they found each other.  Linda who divorced her first husband, even calls Herman her "knight in shining armor."  Yet, as they acknowledge, a  second marriage may bring challenges that never existed in a first marriage.

If you have remarried, how do you feel about your second marriage? A  wife named Tamara, who remarried three years after her divorce, says:  "When you marry for the first time, there is that special feeling that your marriage will last forever.  But with a second marriage, you may not have that feeling, as you are always aware that your first marriage ended." 

Nevertheless, many couples have found deep and lasting  happiness after remarrying.  They made their marriage a success -and you can be successful too! How?  Consider three common challenges and how Bible principles can help you to meet them.

Next time: KEYS TO FAMILY HAPPINESS/Making a Second Marriage Work - CHALLENGE 1

From the jw.org publications 

How Do Bible Principles Benefit Us?

3. Which two principles are primary?

Jesus spoke of two principles of prime importance.  The first reveals the very purpose of human life-to know God, to love him, and to serve him faithfully. This first principle should be considered  in all our decisions.  (Proverbs 3:6) Those who take this principle to heart, gain friendship with God, true happiness, and everlasting life. -Read Matthew 22:36-38.  

The second principle can guide us into peaceful relationships with others.  (1 Corinthians 13:4-7) Applying this second principle involves  imitating God's way of treating people. -Read Matthew 7:12; 22:39, 40.  

4. How do Bible principles benefit us?

Bible principles teach families how to be united by love.  (Colossians 3:12-14) God's Word also protects families by teaching another guiding principle--that marriage should be permanent. -Read Genesis 2:24. 

By following Bible teachings, we can protect our material and emotional welfare. For example, employers often prefer workers who live by the Bible principles  of honesty and diligence.  (Proverbs 10:4, 26; Hebrews 13:18) God's Word also teaches us to be content with the things that are necessary and to value friendship with God above material things. -Read Matthew 6:24, 25, 33; 1 Timothy 6:8-10.

Applying Bible principles can protect our health.  (Proverbs 14:30; 22:24, 25)  For example, adhering to God's law against drunkenness protects us from deadly diseases and accidents.  (Proverbs 23:20) Jehovah permits us to drink alcoholic beverages but only in  moderation.  (Psalm 104: 15; 1 Corinthians 6:10) Godly principles benefit us by teaching us to guard not just our actions but also our thoughts.  (Psalm 119:97-100) Yet, true Christians do not respect God's standards  merely to benefit themselves. They do so to honor Jehovah. -Read Matthew  5:14-16. 

Next time: Family Happiness/KEYS TO FAMILY HAPPINESS -Making a Second Marriage Work

From the jw.org publications 

How Do Bible Principles Benefit Us?

1. Why do we need guidance?

Our Creator is wiser than we are. As a loving Father, he cares for us.  Also, he not intend for us to be independent of him.  (Jeremiah 10:23) So just as a small child needs the guidance of parents, we all need the guidance of God.  (Isaiah 48:17, 18) Bible principles provide guidance that is a gift from God. -Read 2 Timothy 3:16.

2. What are Bible principles?

Bible principles are fundamental truths.  Laws, on the other hand, may be for specific circumstances.  (Deuteronomy 22:8)  We must use thinking ability to understand how a principle applies in a particular situation.  (Proverbs 2:10-12) For example, the Bible teaches that life is a gift from God. That basic principle can guide us at work, at home, and while traveling. It leads us to take safety precautions. -Read Acts 17:28. 

Next time: Conclusion of How Do Bible Principles Benefit Us? 

From the jw.org publications 

Was God's Law to Israel Just and Fair?

Did God's Law Authorize Revenge?

The words "eye for eye, tooth for tooth" found in the Bible, have caused no little contention.  (Exodus 21:24) To some people, it is nothing less than divine approval of revenge.  But such thinking conflicts with God's command:  "You must not take vengeance nor hold a grudge against the sons of your people." (Leviticus 19:18)  How, then, are we to understand those words in Exodus?

Exodus 21:22 presents a scenario in which two men are fighting and one of them strikes a pregnant woman, causing her to deliver prematurely. If mother and baby survived, the injured woman's husband would not be authorized to strike back.   Rather, the man who struck the new mother would have to "pay the damages imposed on him by the husband of the woman; and it must pay it through the judges." In other words, the judges in court would make the striker pay a fine to the husband of the injured mother. If she or her child died because of injuries, those same judges would have the perpetrator put to death. 

Note: I remember it this way from the Bible: "Revenge is mine saith the Lord." -2 Samuel 4:8, for example;  This other is to take to court or settle out of court, if the person who caused the injury is willing.  This is God's Job in other words. He has the right to bring us into this world and only he has the  right to take us out. 

In this case, the court, not the victim, applied for "life for life," eye for eye, both for tooth for tooth."  (Exodus 21:23, 24)  That principle reminded judges that punishment should neither excessive nor insufficient. Bible scholar Richard Elliot Friedman states:  "The basic principle appears to be that  punishment should correspond to the crime and never exceed it."

What gave rise to the idea that God's Law authorized personal acts of revenge?  It is noteworthy that at Matthew  5:38, 39, we find Jesus' words:  "You heard it was said:  'Eye for eye and tooth for tooth.' However I say to you: Do not resist the one who is wicked, but whoever slaps you on your right cheek, turn the other also to him."  It seems that  by Jesus' day, some religious teachers had included the 'law of retaliation' in their oral tradition as approval for personal vengeance.  Jesus, however, made clear that such a teaching has not support in God's Law to Israel.  That law is still valid for All of us today, because that is what Jehovah God and Jesus Christ wanted and intended for all of us; not just the people back then; because all of us are related  through Adam and Eve. 

Next time: How Do Bible Principles Benefit Us? /1. Why do we need guidance?

From the jw.org publications 

Was God's Law to Israel Just and Fair?

THE PEOPLE WHO BENEFITED FROM TRUE JUSTICE

To the Israelites, Moses posed this question:  "What great nation has righteous regulations and judicial decisions like this entire Law that I am putting before you today?"  (Deuteronomy 4:8)  Indeed, no other nation enjoyed those benefits. under the reign of King Solomon, who in his youth sought to carry out Jehovah's laws, the people "lived in security" and enjoyed peace and prosperity,  "eating and drinking and rejoicing." -1 Kings 4:20, 25.  

Regrettably, the Israelites eventually turned their backs on their God. Through the prophet Jeremiah, God declared:  "Look! They have rejected the word of  Jehovah, and what wisdom do they have?"  (Jeremiah 8:9)   The result was that Jerusalem became "the blood-guilty  city" full of "detestable things."  Finally it was brought to ruin and lay desolate for 70 years. -Ezekiel 22:2; Jeremiah 25:11. 

The prophet Isaiah lived through troublesome times in Israel's history. Looking back, he was moved to declare a great truth about Jehovah God and His Law:  "When there are judgments from you for the earth, the inhabitants of the land learn about righteousness." -Isaiah 26:9. 

To his delight, Isaiah was inspired to prophesy about the rule of the Messianic King, Jesus Christ, saying:  "He will not judge by what appears to his eyes, nor reprove simply according to what his ears hear. He will judge the lowly with fairness, and with uprightness he will give reproof  in behalf of the meek ones of the earth."  (Isaiah 11:3, 4) What wonderful prospects for all who become subjects of the Messianic King under God's Kingdom! - Matthew 6:10.

Next time: Did God's Law Authorize Revenge?  

From the jw.org publications