An End to Domestic Violence

What was your relationship like at first?

Valerie: On the night of our engagement, Troy slapped me so hard that I had a bruise for a week.  He apologized profusely and promised he would never do it again.  In the years to come, I would hear those words many times.

Troy: Anything would set me off-late meals, for instance. Once I pistol-whipped Valerie. On another occasion, I beat her so badly that I thought I had killed her. Then, I tried to frighten her by threatening to kill our son while holding a knife to his throat.  

Valerie: I lived in constant fear. At times I had to flee the house until Troy calmed down. For all that, I found his verbal abuse more difficult to endure than the physical violence.

Troy, Had you always been violent?

Troy: Yes, from my childhood on. I grew up in a violent atmosphere.  My father regularly beat my mother in front of  me and my siblings.  After he left, my mother took up with another man, and he also beat her. He also raped my sister-and me.He went to prison for that.  Of course, I realized that none of this excuses my behavior. 

Valerie, you stayed in the marriage. Why?  

Valerie:  I was afraid. I thought to myself, 'What if he hunts me down and kills me or my parents?  What if I report him and the situation gets worse? 

When did things begin to change? 

Troy: My wife begin studying the Bible with Jehovah's Witnesses. At first, I was jealous of her friends, and I thought I needed to save her from this strange "sect."  So I became even more violent,not only toward Valerie but also toward the Witnesses. But one day our four-year-old son Daniel, who suffered from seizures, was hospitalized for nearly three weeks. During that period, the Witnesses did so much for us-even to the point of taking care of our six-year-old daughter, Desiree. After working the night shift, on Witness spend the day with Daniel so that Valerie could get some sleep.  The kindness of those people-the very people toward whom I had been so insolent-affected me deeply. I realized that  I had seen true Christianity in action, so I asked the Witnesses if I could study the Bible with them. In the course of studying the Bible,  I learned how a man should behave permanently.  Eventually, I became one of Jehovah's Witnesses. 

Next time: An End to Domestic Violence - What Bible principles helped you to change?

From the jw.org publications