Family Happiness/When a Spouse Has Special Needs

What, then, is the key to happiness under such circumstances?  For one thing, those who retain a healthy measure of satisfaction and contentment in their marriage view  the illness as an assault not only on the ailing spouse but on the two of them as a couple. After all, if one mate is sick, both are deeply affected, even if in different ways.  This interdependent relationship between a husband and wife is described at Genesis 2:24: "A man will leave his father and his mother and he must stick to his wife and they must become one flesh."   Thus, when a spouse has an ongoing physical ailment, it is critical that both husband and wife work together to meet the challenge.

Additionally, research shows that couples who maintain a good relationship in the face of chronic illness accept their situation and learn effective ways to adapt to it.  Many of the coping skills that they have learned echo the timeless advice found in the Bible. Consider the following three suggestions.  

Show Consideration for One Another

"Two are better than one," states Ecclesiastes 4:9.  Why? Because, explains verse 10, "if one of them should fall, the other one can raise his partner up."  Do you 'raise your partner up' with expressions of appreciation?

Are you able to look for ways to be of practical assistance to each other?  Yong, whose wife is partially paralyzed, says:  "I try to be considerate of my wife on every occasion.  Whenever I feel thirsty, I consider that she too might be thirsty. If I want to go outside and view the beautiful scenery, I ask her if she would like to join me. We are sharing the pain and enduring the  situation together.'

On the other hand,if you are receiving care from your mate, are there certain things  that you can do for yourself without threatening your health?  If so, this can  boost your feelings of self-worth and may contribute  to your mate's ability to continue providing care. 

Rather than assume that you know the best way to show consideration for your spouse, why not ask  him or her what would be most appreciated?  Nancy, mentioned at the outset, eventually told her husband how she was affected by not knowing the family's  financial status. Now her husband endeavors to be more communicative in this regard.  

TRY THIS: List ways that you feel your mate  can make your present situation a little easier, and have your spouse do the same.  Then switch lists.  Each of you should select one or two suggestions that can realistically be implemented.

Next time: Family Happiness/ When a Spouse Has Special Needs 

From the jw.org publications