KEYS TO FAMILY HAPPINESS/Making a Second Marriage Work

CHALLENGE 3: YOU STRUGGLE TO TRUST YOUR NEW MATE BECAUSE YOUR FIRST SPOUSE WAS DISLOYAL.

"I used to be terrified of being betrayed again," says Andrew, whose first wife left him. Later, he remarried his present wife, Riley.   "I often wondered if I could ever be as good as Riley's first husband.  I even worried that she would decide I wasn't good enough and then leave me for someone else."

SUGGESTION:  Freely share your concerns with your wife:  "There is a frustrating of plans where there is no confidential talk," the Bible says. (Proverbs 15:22)  Confidential talk eventually helped Andrew and Riley to trust each other.   "I told Riley that I would never resort to divorce as an easy way out of problems,"  Andrew says, "and Riley assured me of the same thing.  Gradually, I've come to trust her implicitly."

If your present mate was betrayed in an earlier marriage, take deliberate steps to earn your mate's trust.  For example, Michel and Sabine, whose first marriages ended in divorce agreed to tell each other if they had any contact with their former spouses.   "This commitment made us feel safe and secure," says Sabine. -Ephesians 4:25. 

TRY THIS: Set limits on private communication with the opposite sex, whether in person, or on the phone, or online.

Many second marriages have succeeded and yours can too.  After all, compared to the first time you married, you likely know yourself better.  "I have found immeasurable comfort in my marriage to Riley," says Andrew, quoted earlier.  "After 13 years of marriage, we have a very close relationship-one that we never want to lose." 

ASK YOURSELF . . .

* What are some of the unique qualities of my mate that I especially value?

* If the topic of my first marriage comes up, how can I handle the subject in a way that reassures and dignifies my current mate?

Next time:  Happy Family/Be Loyal to Each Other

From the jw.org publications