HELP FOR THE FAMILY/MARRIAGE

When a Friendship Gets Too Close

WHAT YOU CAN DO

Recognize the danger.  The Bible says:  "Can you carry fire against your chest without burning your clothes?" (Proverbs 6:27, Good News Translation)  The fact is, developing a romantic attachment when you are already married to someone else is destructive.  (James 1:14, 15) It is not just a matter of what might occur. Consider what has already happened. By giving that kind of attention to someone else, you have robbed your spouse of the attention he or she should get from you.

Give up the illusion.  A close friendship might make you wonder what life might have been like had you married this person.  Likely, though, you are pitting your friend's strengths against your spouse's weaknesses-an unfair comparison, to say the least! Remember, too, that he euphoria you experience when you think your friend is probably the same feeling you initially had for the person you married. -Bible principle:  Jeremiah 17:9. 

Set boundaries.  People will install an alarm system in their vehicle or home to prevent theft. You can do something similar for your  marriage.  "Safeguard your heart," says the Bible.  (Proverbs 4:23)  How can you do that? Try the following:  

* Send out clear signals that you are already committed-perhaps by keeping photographs of your spouse at work. - Bible principle: Genesis 2:24. 

* Decide what you will and will not tolerate when it comes to conduct with the opposite sex. For example, it would hardly be fitting to talk to such a friend about your marital problems or go out for drinks with  a coworker of the opposite sex. 

* If you have  become too close to a member of the opposite sex, end the relationship.  If that seems too much to bear, ask yourself why.  Instead of trying to defend your relationship with this person, stand up for spouse and take steps to protect your marriage. -Bible principle: Proverbs 5:18, 19. 

KEY SCRIPTURES  

* "The heart is more treacherous than anything else and is desperate." -Jeremiah 17:9

* "A man . . . must stick to his wife." -Genesis 2:24.

* "Rejoice with the wife of your youth . . . With her love may you be in ecstasy constantly." -Proverbs 5:18, 19. 

"JUST FRIENDS"? 

*  Do I talk about my marital problems with this person? 

* Do I create opportunities to be with him or her?

* Do I hide the relationship from my spouse?

* If my spouse were present, would I be embarrassed?

* Would my spouse feel suspicious or betrayed if he or she overheard our conversations?

Next time: Three Things That Money Cannot Buy

From the jw.org publications 




































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