An End to Domestic Violence

ENDING DOMESTIC VIOLENCE

The Bible states:  "All Scripture is inspired of God and beneficial for teaching, for reproving, for setting things straight."  (2 Timothy 3:16)  Like Troy, whose story is related above, many abusive spouses have applied the Bible's counsel and have been able to change their thinking and conduct. 

Would you like to learn more about how the Bible can benefit your marriage?  For further information contact Jehovah's Witnesses locally, or log on to www.jw.org. 

WHY DON'T THEY LEAVE?

Why do some wives choose to remain with a violent mate?  A common sense is that they fear the abuse will get worse if they leave. Some husbands have threatened to harm or even kill their wife if  she tried to escape.  A number have carried out that threat. 

Others have hesitated to leave because they fear that their friends and relatives would turn against them, refusing  to believe that  the situation at home was so severe.  For example, Isabel, whose experience is referred to at the outset of this article, left her husband. She states: "My sister was angry with me and urged me to return to him-she did not believe that such a 'good' man could be so cruel. The entire neighborhood shunned me, and I was forced to move away  with my children."  

Still other reasons why some wives choose to stay are:

* They want their children to grow up with both parents.

* They worry about being able to support themselves and their children financially. 

* They are erroneously believe that they are to blame.  

* They are ashamed that they are being abused. 

* They hope that  the situation will improve. 

Note: It never improves; and another reason is; he controls the money and keeps you broke all the time so you can't get away. And he makes sure the neighbors won't help you if you can. And when he does give you any money, it is no more than $5.00; and if you can manage to save that up, you could be dead before you can get enough to get away.  He is in control, he has brainwashed you in ways you could not believe, and once he has you that way, he knows he is safe from  you doing anything about leaving or anything else. You have to wait for the right opportunity, if that ever comes. For me, I got lucky.  Thank God!  But it took me 9-10 years to get that lucky.  Mine did not show signs right off. It was the first year of our marriage, that he started.  It doesn't take anything you do or don't do to set them off. They are like a stick of dynamite that lights itself.  

  (Note: Had him on that level too, he couldn't keep it in his pants. He was one sick man and his father was the same way and his father died in a mental institution.  We had guns and ammo in the house, but you are so brainwashed, you don't dare for fear you would miss. And to tell you the truth, he was just not worth going to prison for. No trash like that is. By the way, his mother was  just as crazy.  She gave a suitcase  to me once, knowing full well, that I would not be able to get away and she was there when he slapped me so hard it knocked me down and I hit my head on the end table. She was sneering at me when she gave me the suitcase that same day.  Her husband was there, but he was henpecked-she was the boss there. He was too afraid of her to help me. 

Jehovah's Witnesses hold to the Bible standard that the only ground for divorce is adultery.  (Matthew 5:32) However, there are circumstances that might move some to separate, including the extreme conduct of a  physically abusive mate.  

HELPFUL BIBLE PRINCIPLES FOR HUSBANDS 

* Treat your wife with honor and respect. -1 Peter 3:7.

* Love you wife as you would your own body. -Ephesians 5:28, 29. 

*  Keep your love alive and growing. -Ephesians 5:25.

* Avoid abusive speech.  -Ephesians 4:29, 31. 

* Cultivate self-restraint. -Proverbs 29:11.

* Know that self-respect comes, from not controlling others, but from controlling yourself. -Proverbs 16:32. 

* Think of the consequences of your actions. -Galatians 6:7. 

* IF you feel you are going to lose control, it may be best to walk away. -Proverbs 17:14. 

* Learn to detest violent behavior. -Psalm 11:5.

* View your wife, not as inferior, but as a capable partner.  -Genesis 1:31; 2:18.

Next time:  What Is the Ark of the Covenant? -The Bible's answer

From the jw.org publications