HELP FOR THE FAMILY/MARRIAGE

When You Are Disappointed With Your Marriage

THE CHALLENGE 

You and your spouse seemed to have such much in common-before you got married, that is.  Now, disillusionment has driven a wedge between you, making you feel more like cell mates than soul mates.

You can improve your relationship. First, though, consider why you might be disillusioned.

WHY IT HAPPENS

Reality sets in.  The daily routine of working, raising children, and dealing with in-laws can chip away at marital bliss. Additionally, unexpected problems-perhaps a financial setback or caring for a family member who suffers from a chronic illness-can strain a marriage.

Differences seem irreconcilable.  While dating, couples tend to overlook differences. Once married, though, a man and woman discover  just how unalike they are in such areas as communication styles, money management, and problem solving. Differences that once were merely and annoyance may now seem intolerable.

You have become emotionally distant.  Over time, a buildup of unkind words or actions and a backlog of unresolved conflicts can cause a husband or wife to withdraw into an emotional shell, or, worse yet, begin to form an emotional attachment with someone else.

Your expectations were unrealistic.  Some people walk into marriage believing that they have the one person they were meant to be with. While that notion may seem romantic, it can be a setup for disaster. As soon as problems arise, the myth of the "perfect match" is shattered, leaving both spouses with the feeling that they made a mistake.

Next time:HELP FOR THE FAMILY/MARRIAGE - When You Are Disappointed With Your Marriage

From the jw.org publications