YOUNG PEOPLE ASK/ Is This Person Right for Me?

Have you found someone who might be a good marriage partner?  If so, how can you tell if that person is right for you? 

It is vital that you look beyond the superficial traits.  After all, the cutest girl may not be trustworthy or the most popular boy may not be morally upright. You want someone you'll be comfortable with-someone who truly fits your personality and your goals. -Genesis 218; Matthew 19:4-6. 

Looking Beyond the Surface

Look at your friend objectively. Be careful, though! You might be inclined to see only what you want to see. So take your time. Try to perceive your friend's true nature.

Many who date don't look beyond the surface. Instead, they quick point to the things they have in common:  "We like the same music. "  "We enjoy the same activities."  "We agree on everything!" However, you need to look beyond the superficial traits. You need to discern "the secret person of the heart." (1 Peter 3:4; Ephesians 3:16) Rather than focus on how much you agree on things, it might be more revealing to note what happens when you disagree.

For example, consider the following: 

* How does this person handle conflict-by insisting on his or her way, perhaps giving in to "fits of anger" or abusive speech"?  (Galatians 5:19, 20; Colossians 3:8)  Or does this person show reasonableness-a willingness to yield for the sake of peace when no issue of right or wrong is at stake? -James 3:17. 

* Is the person manipulative, possessive, or jealous?  Does he or she demand to kn ow your every move?  "I hear of dating couples who fight because one person can't stand that the other hasn't constantly checked in," says Nichole.  "I think that's a bad sign." - 1 Corinthians 13:4. 

How is that one viewed by others?  You may want to talk to those who have known this person for some time, such as mature ones in the congregation. That way you will know if he or she is "well reported on." - Acts 16:1, 2.

Note: As for checking in on the other person. If they are going to be out at night and out late for some reason, or if they think they will be late getting home; You need them to call in to let you know this, so you do not worry that something bad could happen to them. It does not have to me every few minutes or every hour,  just for those particular times when they will be out and if they will be late coming home, situations like that.  For example, I had a boyfriend once who would call me in the middle of the night almost every night.  Needless to say, that relationship did not last at all. I do not/will not put up with stuff like that.   

Next time: YOUNG PEOPLE ASK/Should We Break Up? (Part 1) 

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