KEYS TO FAMILY HAPPINESS/When Your Child Is Disabled

CARLO:  "Our son, Angelo, has Down syndrome.  His illness drains our physical, mental, and emotional strength.  Imagine the energy you need to look after a healthy child, and then multiply that by a hundred.  Sometimes our marriage suffers." 

Mia:  "It takes persistence and a tremendous amount of patience to teach Angelo the simplest things.  When I get really tired, I tend to get irritable and impatient with my husband, Carlo. Sometimes we disagree on issues, and then we get into an argument." 

Can you recall the day your child was born?  You were no doubt eager to hold the baby.  For parents like Carlo and Mia, however, joy becomes mingled with anxiety when they are told that their child is sick or disabled. 

Do you have  a disabled child?  Then you may wonder if you can cope.  If so, do not despair. Parents like you have successfully dealt with similar problems.  Consider three  common challenges you might face and how the wisdom found in the Bible can help you.

CHALLENGE 1: YOU FIND IT DIFFICULT TO ACCEPT THE DIAGNOSIS. 

 Many parents feel crushed when they learn that their child is ill.  "When the doctors told me that our son,m Santiago, had cerebral palsy, I couldn't believe it," says Juliana, a mother in Mexico.  "I felt that the world was falling in on me."  Others may feel as did an Italian mother named Villana.  "I chose to have a baby even though there are risks for women my age," she says. "Now, when my son faces problems related to his Down syndrome, I feel guilty." 

If you struggle with feelings of despair or guilt, realize that your reaction is normal.  Sickness was not part of God's original purpose.  (Genesis 1:27, 28) He did not create parents with the ability to accept easily what is unnatural. In a sense, you may need to  "grieve" for what was lost-the health of your child. It will take time to sort out your emotions and adapt to your new situation.  

What if you feel responsible for your child's disability? Remember that no one understands fully how heredity, environment, and other factors affect a child's health.  On the  other hand, you may feel inclined to blame your spouse. Resist that urge. You will do better if you cooperate with your mate and concentrate on caring for your  child. -Ecclesiastes 4:9, 10. 

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