CHAPTER THREE-Two Keys to a Lasting Marriage

THE FIRST KEY

The first key is love.  Interestingly, there are different kinds of love identified in the Bible. One is a warm, personal affection for someone, the kind of love that exists between close friends.  (John 11:3) Another is the love that grows between family members.  (Romans 12:10)  A third is the romantic love  that one can have for the opposite sex.  (Proverbs 5:15-20) Of course, all of these should be cultivated by a husband and a wife.  But there is a  fourth kind of love, more important than the others. 

In the original languages of the Christian Greek Scriptures, the word for this fourth kind of love is a-ga'pe.  That word is at 1 John 4:8, where we are told:  "God is love." Indeed, "we love, because [God] first loved us." (1 John 4:19) A Christian cultivates such love first for Jehovah God and then for fellow humans.  (Mark 12:29-31)  The word a-ga'pe is also used at Ephesians 5:2, which states: "Go on walking in love, just as the Christ also loved you and delivered himself up for you."  Jesus said that this kind of love would identify his true followers:  "By this all will know that you are my disciples, if you have love [a-ga'pe] among yourselves."  (John 13:35) Notice too, the use of a-ga'pe at 1 Corinthians 13:13:  "There remain faith, hope, love, these three; but the greatest of these is love [a-ga'pe]."

What makes this a-ga'pe love greater than faith and hope?  It is governed by principles-right principles-found in God's Word. [Psalm 119:105)  It is an unselfish concern for doing to others what is right and good from God's standpoint, whether the recipient appears to deserve it or not.  Such love enables marriage partners  to follow the Bible's counsel: "Continue putting up with one another and forgiving one another freely if anyone has a cause for complaint against each other.  Even as Jehovah freely forgave you, so do you also."  (Colossians 3:13) Loving married couples have and cultivate "intense love  [a-ga'pe] for [ each other], because love covers a multitude of sins." (1 Peter  4:8)  Notice that love covers mistakes. It does not eliminate them, since no imperfect human can be free from error. -Psalm 130:3, 4; James 3:2.

When such love of God and of each other is cultivated by a married couple, their marriage will last and be happy, for "love never fails."  (1 Corinthians 13:8) Love is "a perfect bond of union."  (Colossians 3:14) If you are married, how can you and your mate cultivate this kind of love?  Read God's Word together, and talk about it. Study Jesus' example of love and try to imitate him, to think and act like him. In addition, attend Christian meetings, where God's Word is taught. And pray for God's help to develop this kind of love, which is a fruit of God's holy spirit. -Proverbs 3:5, 6; John 17:3; Galatians 5:22; Hebrews 10:24, 25. 

Next time: Two Keys to a Lasting Marriage/THE SECOND KEY

From the book: The Secret of FAMILY HAPPINESS