HELP FOR THE FAMILY/PARENTING

How to Say NO

THE CHALLENGE

Your child simple will not take no for an answer.  Whenever you say the word,  his unruly response  tests your patience to the limit. Nothing you do or say calms him, and eventually you feel that you have no choice  but to give in.  Once again, your resolute no turns into an exasperated, reluctant yes.

 You can stop that tiresome pattern. First, though, consider some factors about saying no. 

WHAT YOU SHOULD KNOW

Saying no is not cruel.  Some parents  would disagree, perhaps saying that you should reason with your child, explain yourself, or even negotiate. But avoid saying no, they urge, for fear that it will make your child feel resentful.  

True, the word "no" might initially disappoint your child. Nevertheless, it teaches him a vital lesson-that in the real world, there are limits by which people must abide. By giving in, on the other hand, you weaken your authority and teach your child to manipulate  you by whining every time he wants something. Over time, your response could make him resentful. After all, how much can child respect an easily manipulated parent?  

Your saying no prepares a child for adolescence and adulthood.  It teaches him the benefits of self-denial. A  child who learns that valuable lesson is less likely to give in during adolescence when he faces pressure to take drugs or to have premarital sex.

Your saying No also trains a child for adulthood.  "The truth is, we  [adults] don't always get what we want," writes Dr. David Walsh.   "We're not doing our kids any favors when we teach them that the world will always serve up whatever they want on a silver platter." 

Next time: HELP FOR THE FAMILY/PARENTING -  WHAT YOU CAN DO

From the Awake! magazine