HELP FOR THE FAMILY/PARENTING

 When Your Children Ask About Death


THE CHALLENGE

Your six-year-old asks,  "Are you going to die someday?" Startled by his question,you wonder: 'Is my child old enough to understand the answer? How can I talk to him about death?

WHAT YOU SHOULD KNOW

* Children do think about death.  Some even play games in which someone pretends to die.  Therefore, death should not be considered a taboo subject, and you should welcome any questions your child may have about it. By occasionally talking openly about death, you help your child to learn how to cope  with the loss of a loved one. 

* Talking about death will not cause your child to have morbid thoughts.   Rather, it will help him alleviate fears.  However, you may need to correct some misunderstandings. For example, some experts say that many children under the age of six do not view death as final.  In their games, a child will be "dead' one moment and "alive" the next. 

When they get a little older, however, children begin to grasp the seriousness of death-a fact that may cause them to have questions, concerns, or even fears, especially if a loved one has died.  Therefore, it is vital that you discuss the subject.  Mental-health expert Marion Haza points out:  "A child will develop anxieties related to death if he feels that he is not allowed to talk about this subject at home." 

* You need not worry excessively about what to say. According to one study, children just want to  "hear the truth expressed in kind words."  Be assured that a child will usually not ask a question unless he is ready to hear the answer.  

Next time: HELP FOR THE FAMILY/PARENTING - When Your Child Asks About Death-WHAT YOU CAN DO

From the Awake! magazine