Two Keys to a Lasting Marriage

CHRISTLIKE HEADSHIP

The Bible tells us that the man was created with attributes that would make him a successful family head. As such, the man would be responsible before Jehovah for the spiritual and physical well-being of his wife and children.  He would have to make  balanced decisions that reflect Jehovah's will and be a good example of godly conduct.  "Let wives be in subjection to their husbands as to the Lord, because a husband is head of his wife as the Christ also is head of the congregation."  (Ephesians 5:22,23) However, the Bible says that the husband also has a head, one with authority over him.  The apostle Paul wrote:  "I want you to know that the head of every man is the Christ; in turn the head of every woman is the man; in turn the head of the Christ is God."  (1 Corinthians 11:3)  The wise husband learns how to exercise headship by imitating his own head, Christ Jesus.

Jesus too has a head, Jehovah, and he is properly subject to Him.  Jesus said:   "I seek not my own will, but the will of him that sent me."  (John 5:30) What an excellent example! Jesus is "the firstborn of all creation."  (Colossians 1;15) He became the Messiah. He was to be the Head of the congregation of anointed Christians and the chosen King of God's Kingdom, above all the angels.  (Philippians  2:9-11; Hebrews 1:4) Despite such a lofty position and such elevated prospects, the man Jesus was not harsh, unyielding, or overly demanding. He was not a despot, constantly reminding his disciples that they had to obey him.  Jesus was loving and compassionate, especially toward the downtrodden.  He said:  "Come to me, all you who are toiling and loaded down, and I will refresh you.  Take my yoke upon you and learn from me, for I am mild-tempered and lowly in heart, and you will find refreshment for your souls. For my yoke is kindly and my load is light."  (Matthew 11:28-30) It was a delight to be in his company.

The husband desiring a happy family life does well to consider Jesus' fine traits.  A good husband is not harsh and dictatorial, wrong using his headship as a club to browbeat his wife. Rather, he loves and honors her.  If Jesus was "lowly in heart," the husband has even more reason to be so because, unlike Jesus, he makes mistakes.  When he does, he wants his wife's understanding. Therefore, the humble husband admits his mistakes, even though the words,  "I'm sorry; you were right ," might be difficult to say. A wife will find it much easier to respect the headship of a modest and humble husband than that of a proud and stubborn one. In turn, the respectful wife also apologizes when she is in error. 

 God created the woman with fine attributes that she can use in contributing to a happy marriage. A wise husband will recognized this and will not stifle her.  many women tend to have greater compassion and sensitivity, qualities that are needed in caring  for a family and nurturing human relationships. Usually the woman is quite adept at making the home a pleasant place to live.  The "capable wife" described in Proverbs  chapter 31 had many wonderful qualities and excellent talents, and her family benefited from them.  Why? Because the heart of her husband  "has put trust" in her. -Proverbs 31:10, 11.  

In some cultures, a husband's authority is over-emphasized, so that even to ask him a question is considered disrespectful. He may treat his wife almost like a slave. Such a wrong exercise of headship results in a poor relationship not only with his wife but also with God.  (Compare 1 John 4:20, 21) On the other hand, some husbands neglect to take the lead, letting their wives dominate the household.  The husband who is properly subject to Christ does not exploit his wife or rob her of dignity. Instead, he imitates the self-sacrificing love of Jesus and does as Paul counseled: "Husband, continue loving your wives, just as the Christ also loved the  congregation and delivered himself up for it." (Ephesians 5:25)  Christ Jesus loved his followers so much that he died for them.  A good husband will try to imitate that unselfish attitude, seeking the good of his wife, rather than be demanding of her.  When a husband is subject to Christ and displays Christlike love and respect, his wife will be motivated to subject herself to him.-Ephesians 5:28, 29, 33.

Next time: Two Keys to a Lasting Marriage/WIFELY SUBJECTION

From the book: The Secret of FAMILY HAPPINESS