YOUNG PEOPLE ASK/Am I Ready to Date?

Am I old enough to date?

* At what age, do you think, is it appropriate for a youth to start dating?

* Now ask one of your parents the same question.

Chances are, your answer is different from that of your parent. Or maybe not! You might be among the many youths who are wisely putting off dating until they're old enough to know themselves better.

That's what Danielle, 17, decided to do. She says:  "Thinking back two years ago, what I would have looked for  in a potential mate was so different from what I would look for now.  Basically, even at this point I don't trust myself to make such a decision.  When I feel that my personality has been stable for a couple of years, then I'll think about dating."

There's another reason why waiting is wise. The Bible uses the phrase "the bloom of youth" to describe the period of life when sexual feelings and romantic notions first became strong.  (1 Corinthians 7:36 )  To maintain close association with one particular member of the opposite sex while you're still in this phase can fan the flames of desire and lead to wrong conduct. 

True, that might mean little to your peers. Many of them may be all too eager to experiment with sex.  But you can-you must-rise above that kind of thinking! (Romans 12:2) After all, the Bible urges you to "flee from sexual immorality."  (1 Corinthians  6:18, New International Version)  By waiting until you're past the bloom of youth, you can "ward off calamity." -Ecclesiastes 11:10. 

Next time: YOUNG PEOPLE ASK?Am I Ready to Date? -Why wait to date?

From the jw.org publications 

YOUNG PEOPLE ASK?Am I Ready to Date?

What is the purpose of dating?

Dating should have a honorable purpose-to help a young man and woman determine if they want to get married to each other.

Granted, some of your peers might take a casual view of dating.  Perhaps they simply enjoy being with a special friend of the opposite sex, without any intention of marriage. Some might even view such a friend as little more than a trophy or an accessory to be seen with in public to boost their own self-esteem. 

Often, though, such shallow relationships are short-lived.  "Many young ones who date break up with each other a week or two later," says a girl named Heather.  "They come to view relationships as transitory-which in a sense prepares them for divorce rather than for marriage." 

Clearly, when you date someone, you're affecting that person's feelings. So be sure your intentions  are honorable. -Luke 6:31. 

Think: Would you like someone to play with your feelings as if they were some child's toy-to picked up for a moment and then quickly abandoned? Then don't do that to someone else! The Bible says that love "does not behave indecently."-1 Corinthians 13:4. 5. 

A youth named Chelsea says:  "Part of me wants to say that dating should be just for fun, but it's no fun when one person is taking it seriously and the other isn't."

Tip: To prepare for dating and marriage, read 2 Peter 1:5-7 and pick one quality you need to work on. In a months time, see how much you have learned about-and improved in-that quality.

Next time: YOUNG PEOPLE ASK?/Am I Ready to Date? -Am I old enough to date?

From the jw.org publications 

YOUNG PEOPLE ASK/Am I Ready to Date?

* What is dating?

* What is the purpose of dating?

* Am I old enough to date?

* Why wait to date? 

What is dating?

* You regularly go out with a certain member of the opposite sex. Are you dating? 

* You and a member of the opposite sex are attracted to each other. Several times a day, you send text messages or talk to this person on the phone. Are you dating?

* Every time you get together with your friends, you pair off with the same person of the opposite sex. Are you dating?

You most likely had no problem answering the first question. But you may paused before responding to the second and the third. What exactly is dating?

Really, dating is any social activity in which your romantic interest is focused on one particular person and that person's interest is focused on you. 

So the answer to all three questions is yes. Whether on the phone or fact-to-face,in the open or in secret, if you and a friend of the opposite sex have a special romantic understanding and communicate regularly, it's dating. 

Next time: YOUNG PEOPLE ASK/Am I Ready to Date? -What is the purpose of dating?

From the jw.org publications  

Teenagers/How to Avoid Pornography and WhyYou Should

What if I'm Addicted to Pornography?

What you can do

Understand pornography for what it is.   Pornography is nothing less than an attempt to degrade something that God created to be honorable. Understanding pornography in this light will help you to "hate what is bad." -Psalm 97:10.

Consider the consequences.  Pornography devalues those depicted in it. It also debases the person who views it. For good reason, the Bible says:  "Shrewd is the one that has seen the calamity and proceeds to conceal himself." -Proverbs 22:3. 

Make a commitment.  "I have made a solemn promise never to look with lust at at a girl," said the faithful man Job.  (Job 31:1, Today's English Version)  The following are some  'solemn promises' you could make: 

* I will not use the Internet when I am alone.

* I will immediately exit from any pop-up or site that is explicit. 

* I will talk to a  mature friend if I have a relapse.

Pray about it. The psalmist implored Jehovah God:  "Make my eyes pass on from seeing what is worthless."  (Psalm 119:37)  God wants you to succeed, and if you pray to him he can give you the strength to do what is right! -Philippians 4:13. 

Talk to someone.  Choosing a confidant is often an important step in breaking the habit. -Proverbs 17:17. 

Remember this: Each time you avoid pornography, you have won a significant victory. Tell Jehovah God about that victory, and thank him for the strength he has given you.  By avoiding pornography, you make his hear rejoice!  -Proverbs 27:11. 

Next time: Young People Ask/ Am I Ready to Date? 

From the jw.org publications 

Teenagers/I Can't Keep My Mind Off Sex

How Can I Keep My Mind Off Sex

What you can do

Choose your associates carefully.   If your friends and classmates start to talk about immoral sex, joining in will only make it more difficult for you to control your thought. Often,  you can find a way to leave such conversations  without appearing self-righteous and inviting ridicule.

Shun immoral entertainment.  Much of today's entertainment is designed to arouse improper sexual feelings. The Bible's counsel?  "Let us cleanse ourselves of every defilement of flesh and spirit, perfecting holiness in God's fear."  (2 Corinthians 7:1) Steer clear of entertainment that stimulates sexual desires.

Remember this:  Sexual feelings aren't evil in themselves. After all, God created man and woman to have a strong attraction for each other, and satisfying sexual desire is proper within marriage. So if you experience intense sexual urges, don't think that  you're inherently bad or that you're just not cut out for moral cleanness.

The bottom line. You can choose what you will let your mind dwell on.  Both in your thinking and in your conduct, you can be chaste if you choose to!

Next time:  Teenagers/ How to Avoid Pornography and Why You Should - What if I'm Addicted to Pornography?

From the jw.org  publications 

Teenagers/Pressured for Sex

What if I'm Being Pressured to Have Sex?

"Isn't it better to give in?" you might ask.  "After all, isn't everyone having sex?"

Stop and think!

Fact: Not everyone is doing it.

True, you may read about high statistics. For example, a U.S. study revealed that by the time they finish high school, 2 out of 3 youths in that country are sexually active. But that also means that 1 out of 3-a sizable number-are not.

What about those who are? Researchers have found that many such youths experience one or more of the following rude awakenings. 

Distress.  Most youths who have engaged in premarital sex say that they regretted afterward. 

Distrust. After having sex, each partner begins to wonder, 'Who else has he/she had sex with?' 

Disillusionment.   Deep down, many girls would prefer someone who will protect them, not use them.  And many boys find that they are less attracted to a girl who has given in to their advances.  

The bottom line.  Your body is far too valuable to give away. Show that you have strength of character (and respect for yourself) by obeying God's laws against premarital sex. Then, if you do marry one day, you have sex.  and you'll be able to enjoy it fully-without the regrets, worries, and insecurities that are so often the aftermath of premarital sex. -Proverbs 7:22, 23; 1 Corinthians 7:3.

Note: Remember ladies,  we are not new cars to be tried out before marriage. And young boys are eager to try out something they have never done and they get, let's just be honest here; they get horny.  They are not thinking with the right heads.  I'm sorry if I offended anyone, but I tell it like it is. You need to know.  There is also the danger of pregnancy and if that boy that got you that way, is heading towards a scholarship for a sports  career or any other career, they most likely will not want to be a parent.  And for the record,  Condoms do tend to break. So, I would recommend waiting until you are married. It's safer that way, believe me.   

Next time:Teenagers/I Can't Keep My Mind Off Sex -How Can I Keep My Mind Off Sex? 

From the jw.org publications

YOUNG PEOPLE ASK?What Should I Know About Texting?

When you text

:-) Decide in advance when your phone will be off-limits.  "I don't have my cell phone with me at the dinner table or while studying," says a girl named Olivia.  "I turn it off during Christian meetings so that I'm not tempted to look at it." 

:-) Be considerate.  (Philippians 2:4/ Don't text while you're trying to carry on a face-to-face conversation with someone.

"I've set rules for myself, such as not texting people when I'm in a group of friends unless it's necessary. I also don't give out my number to people I'm not already close to." -Janelly.

Texting quiz

Scenario 1

You've been dating for months, but you now realize that the person just isn't right for you.  Which would be the better text message to send to the person?

A. "We're through."

B. " We need to talk. When can we get together?" 

Correct answer: B.  Unless circumstances make it inadvisable, it's best to discuss in person the serious matter of break up. -Luke 6:31. 

Scenario 2

You receive a text message that contains a lewd photo of a schoolmate. What is your best option?

A. Delete the photo immediately.  

B. Forward it to all your friends. 

Correct answer: A.  "Sexting" degrades everyone involved. Refuse to be any part of it! -Ephesians 5:3, 4. 

Scenario 3

You're at the dinner table with your family and a familiar tone alerts you that you just received a text message. What is your best option?

A. Check the incoming message and assume that your family will excuse the interruption.

B. Wait until after dinner to check your message.

Correct answer: B. The text message can wait. Put family first. -Philippians 1:10. 

Next time: Teenagers/Pressured for Sex -What if I'm Being Pressured to Have Sex?

From the jw.org publications 

YOUNG PEOPLE ASK/What Should I Know About Texting?

Texting tips

Whom you text

:-) Obey your parent's guidelines. -Colossians 3:20. 

:-) Be selective about whom you give your number to. When you politely refuse to share private information-including your cell-phone-number you develop a skill that you'll need as an adult.

:-) Don't become over familiar by sending flirtatious text messages.  If romantic feelings grow, you're only inviting frustration and heartache. 

"I've built up a god record with my parents regarding the use of my cell phone, sot hey trust me to make wise decisions about whose number I will put in my contact list." -Briana. 

What you text

:-) Before you start to type your message, ask yourself,  'Is texting the right way to communicate the situation?'  It might be better to make a phone call or wait to speak in person. 

:-) Don't text anything you wouldn't say in person. "If It shouldn't be sad out loud, it shouldn't be sent by text," says 23- year-old Sarah.

"If someone send you provocative pictures, tell your parents. it will serve as  protection and will also build your parent's trust in you." -Sirvan.

Next time: YOUNG PEOPLE ASK/What Should I Know About Texting? -When you text. 

From the jw.org publications 

YOUNG PEOPLE ASK/What Should I Know About Texting?

What you text

Text messages are so easy to send-and fun to receive-that it's easy to forget that people may read between the lines.

What you should know:  Words conveyed via texting can be misinterpreted.  

"With texting you can't sense emotions and tone of voice-even with emoticons or text symbols. It can cause misunderstandings ." -Briana. 

'I know girls who have ruined their reputation and are known to be flirts because of what they have sent in  a text to boys." -Laura.

The Bible says: "Good people think before they answer."  (Proverbs 15:28, Good News Translation)  The lesson?  Reread your message before you hit "Send"! 

When you text

By using common sense, you can develop your own rules of texting-texting etiquette, as some call it.

What you should know:  If you don't watch your texting manners, you'll come off as rude and repel friends than attract them. 

"It's easy to forget text etiquette. I find myself in a conversation with someone or at the dinner table, and yet I'm texting at the same time." -Allison.

"It's dangerous to be texting and driving. If you take your eyes off the road, you risk getting into an accident." -Anne. 

The Bible says:  "For everything there is an appointed time, . . . a time to keep quiet and a time to speak." (Ecclesiastes 3:1, 7) That applies to texting just as much as it does to talking!

Next time: YOUNG PEOPLE ASK/What Should I Know About Texting? -Texting tips

From the jw.org publications 

YOUNG PEOPLE ASK/What Should I Know About Texting?

What you should know:  If you give out your number to just anyone, you can get into trouble. 

"If you aren't careful about you knows your number, you're bound to receive messages or pictures you don't want." -Scott.

"If you  regularly text a member of the opposite sex, you can get emotionally attached to that person very quickly." -Seven.

The Bible says:  "Shrewd is the one that has seen the calamity and proceeds to conceal himself." (Proverbs 22:3/  By taking a few precautions, you can spare yourself a lot of grief. 

True story:  "A boy and I were friends, and we texted a lot. I reasoned that we were just really close. I didn't think that was a problem until he told me that he had developed romantic feelings for me. Looking back, I realize that I shouldn't have hung out with him-and texted him-as much as I did." -Melinda. 

Consider: How, do you think, would Melinda's friendship with the boy be affected his revelation? 

Rewrite the script! What could Melinda have done differently so that she and the boy could have remained friends and nothing more?

Next time: YOUNG PEOPLE ASK/What Should I Know About Texting?

From the jw.org publications

YOUNG PEOPLE ASK/What Should I Know About Texting?

:-) Used wisely, texting can be a great way to stay in touch.

:-( Use carelessly, it can ruin your friendships-and your reputation. 

This article will tell you what you need to know about: 

* Whom you text

* What you text

* When you text

Also in this article:  

* Texting tips

* Texting quiz

Whom you text

Many teenagers consider texting to be an indispensable way to communicate. Texting allow you to keep in touch with anyone and everyone on your contact list-that is, unless your parents object. 

"My dad doesn't like it when my sister and I talk to boys. If we do, it has to be on the landline phone, in the living room, and with others present." -Lenore. 

Next time: YOUNG PEOPLE ASK/What Should I Know About Texting?

From the jw.org publications 

HELP FOR THE FAMILY/PARENTING

How to Teach Teens Internet Safety

WHAT YOU CAN DO 

Teach your teen priorities and time-management skills. Part of becoming a responsible adult involves learning to put first things first. Family communication, homework, and chores are more important than casual Internet use. If the amount of  time your teen spends online is a concern, set limits-even using a timer if necessary.-Bible principle: Philippians 1:10.

Teach your teen to think before posting.  Help your teenager to ask such questions as:  Could the comment I am about to post hurt someone?  how will this photo affect my reputation?  Would I feel embarrassed if my parents or other adults saw this photo or comment? What would they conclude about me if they saw it? What would I think of someone who posted such a comment or photo? -Bible principle: Proverbs 10:23.

Teach your teen to live by values-not just rules. You cannot look over your teenager's shoulder every moment of the day. Besides your goal as a parent is  not to control your children but to help them "have their powers of discernment trained to distinguish right and wrong."  (Hebrews 5:14)  So, instead of emphasizing rules and punishment as the primary factor, appeal to your teenager's moral sense.  what type of reputation does he want to have?  For what type of character  traits does he want she want to be known?  Your goal is to help your teenager make wise decisions, whether you are there or not. - Bible principle: Proverbs 3:21. 

Navigating the Internet, like driving a car, requires good judgment-not just technological ability. Your guidance as a parent, therefore, is crucial. After all, it is as Internet-safety expert Patty Aftab observes:  "Kids know more about technology. Parents know more about life.

KEY SCRIPTURES

* "Make sure o the more important things." -Philippians 1:10.

* "Engaging in shameful conduct is like  a game to the stupid one, but wisdom is for the man of discernment." -Proverbs 10:23. 

* "Safeguard practical wisdom and thinking ability." -Proverbs 3:21.

Before your child enters the online world, he should be consistently demonstrating the admirable character traits you're striving to cultivate-such as kindness, restraint, tolerance, inclusiveness-because they will get tested." -Letting Go With Love and Confidence, by Kenneth Ginsburg and Susan Fitzgerald. 

Next time: YOUNG PEOPLE ASK/ What Should I know About Texting?

From the jw.org publications  

HELP FOR THE FAMILY/PARENTING

How to Teach Teens Internet Safety

THE CHALLENGE

News reports give you the impression that the Internet is a haven for cyberbullies, sexual predators, and identity thieves. You are concerned for a good reason:  Your teenager is often online and seems oblivious to the dangers. 

You can teach your teenager Internet safety. First, though, consider some things you should know about life online.

WHAT YOU SHOULD KNOW

Teens can access the Internet on mobile devices.  The rule that the computer should be placed in a common area of the house still has merit.  But with a tablet or smartphone connected to the Internet, your teenager may have more access to the online world than ever-and without your supervision. 

Some teens spend excessive time online. "I turn on the computer intending to check my e-mail for five minutes and end up watching videos for hours," admits a 19-year-old girl.  "I need a lot of self-control."

Teens might reveal online more than they should.  Shady people can piece together a teenager's online comments and photos to fins out such information as where he or she lives and goes to school and at what times no one in the family will be at home. 

Some teens do not understand the repercussions of what they post.  What is posted online stays online. Sometimes embarrassing comments and photos are discovered later-for example, by a prospective employer doing a background check on a job applicant.

Despite such concerns, remember this:  The Internet is not your enemy.  Rather, what leads to trouble is unwise use of the Internet.

Next time: HELP FOR THE FAMILY/PARENTING -How to Teach Teens Internet Safety 

From the jw.org publications 

How Can I Protect Myself From Sexual Harassment?

The Bible's answer

Consider these practical suggestions based on wisdom found in the Bible: 

1. Be businesslike. Be pleasant and respectful to workmates, yet avoid the sort of friendliness that implies that you would accept their sexual interest. -Matthew 10:16; Colossians 4:6. 

2.  Dress modestly. Wearing provocative clothing sends the wrong message. (note: Also, work is a place of business and provocative clothing should not be worn while you are working, anyway.) The Bible recommends dressing with modesty and soundness of mind." -1 Timothy 2:9.

3. Choose your friends wisely. If you spend time with those who tolerate or even welcome flirting or sexual advances, you are more likely to receive the same treatment. -Proverbs 13:20. 

4. Reject offensive talk. Excuse yourself if a conversation turns into "dirt stories, foolish talk, or obscene jokes." -Ecclesiastes 5:4. God's Word, the Bible. 

5. Avoid compromising situations.   For example, beware of invitations to stay at work after hours without a valid reason. -Proverbs 22:3.

6. Be firm and direct. If you are sexually harassed, clearly tell your harasser that his or her behavior is unwelcome.  (1 Corinthians 14:9) For instance, you could say:  "You keep brushing against me, and it makes me very uncomfortable. I want you to stop."  You could write a letter to your harasser describing what happened, how it made you feel, and what you want to happen next. Make clear that your stance in based on your moral and religious convictions. -1 Thessalonians 4:3-5. 

7. Get help. If the harassment continues, confide in a trusted friend, family member, or coworker or in someone experienced in helping victims.  (Proverbs 27:9)  Many victims of sexual harassment have found support through prayer. Even if you haven't prayed before, don't underestimate the help you can receive from Jehovah, "the God of all comfort." -2 Corinthians 1:3. 

Sexual harassment creates a hostile work environment for millions, but the Bible can help.  

Note:  As for teenager girls, the dressing modestly works just as well, you are there to learn, not to pick  boys.  If you wear provocative clothes, you are saying that you are willing to go the distance. That is how boys think; not necessarily with the brains in their head.  If you want to be treated with respect, then you dress modestly and not like a hooker.  I have seen how some girls and women dress and they way they are dressed does not show they expect the respect they want to be shown. 

Next time: HELP FOR THE FAMILY/PARENTING -How to Teach Teens Internet Safety

From the jw.org publications 

Conclusion of HOW TO DEAL WITH SEXUAL HARASSMENT

Sexual harassment quiz

"In middle school, boys would pull on the back of my bra and make derogatory  comments-like how much better I would feel once I had sex with them." -Coretta. 

Do you think that those boys were 

A. Teasing?

B. Flirting?

C, Sexually harassing her?

"On the bus, a boy started saying nasty things tome and grabbing me. I smacked his hand away and told him to move. He looked at me like I was crazy.-Candice. 

What do you think this boy was doing to Candice?

A. Teasing? 

B. Flirting?

C. Sexually harassing her?

"Last year, a boy kept telling me that he liked me and that he wanted to go out with me, even though I constantly told him no. Sometimes, he rubbed my arm. I told him to stop, but he wouldn't. Then, while I was tying my shoe, he smacked my rear end." -Bethany. 

In your opinion, was this boy:  

A. Flirting?

B. Teasing?

C. Sexually harassing her?

The correct answer to all three questions is C.

What makes sexual harassment different from flirting or teasing?  "Sexual harassment is one-sided," says a girl named Eve.  "It continues even when you tell the person to stop."  Harassment is serious. Not only can it affect your grades and health but it can also lead to sexual violence. 

Next time: How Can I Protect Myself From Sexual Harassment?/The Bible's answer

From the jw.org publications 

Continue with HOW TO DEAL WITH SEXUAL HARASSMENT

TRUE STORY 2:

"It all started with just a few sleazy comments from some boys in my physical education class. I ignored what they said for a few weeks, but it just got worse and worse.  Then the boys started to sit beside me and put their arms around me. I pushed them away, but they kept it up.  Finally, one of the guys handed me a piece of paper with a derogatory message. I gave it to my teacher. The boy was suspended from school. I realizes that I should have gone  to the teacher in the beginning!" -Sabina.  

* Why do you think that Sabina decided not to go to her teacher earlier?  Do you think that she made a good decision? Why or why not? 

TRUE STORY 3:

"My brother Greg was approached in the bathroom by another boy. The boy got very close to Greg and said, 'Kiss me.' Greg said no, but the boy wouldn't go away. In fact, Greg had to push the boy away from him." -Suzanne.

* Do you think that Greg was a victim of sexual harassment? Why or why not? 

* Why do you think some boys are reluctant to speak up when they've been sexually harassed by another boy?

*Do you agree with the way Greg handled the situation? What would you have done? 

Next time: Conclusion of HOW TO DEAL WITH SEXUAL HARASSMENT?

From the jw.org publications 

Continue with HOW DO I DEAL WITH SEXUAL HARASSMENT?

SITUATION:

"I was really afraid of this one boy who was on the rugby team. He was almost two meters (6.5 ft) tall, and he weighed 135  kilograms (300 lb) He got it into his head that he was going to 'have me.'   He pestered me almost every day-for a whole year. One day, we were the only people in the classroom, and he started closing in on me. I jumped up and ran out the door." -Julieta, 18. 

Julieta could think: 'That's just the way boys are.'

Why that probably won't help:  Your harasser is unlikely to change his behavior if everyone thinks it acceptable. 

Try this instead:  Resist the temptation to laugh it off or to respond with a smile.  Rather, make sure that your reaction-including your facial expression-makes it clear to your harasser what you will and will not tolerate.

Would I do?

TRUE STORY 1:

"I don't like being rude to people at all. So even when guys kept harassing me, I would tell to stop-but I wasn't very firm, and I often smiled as I spoke to them.  They thought I was flirting." -Tabitha.

* If you were Tabitha, how would you have dealt with those harassers?  Why? 

* What may cause a harasser to think that you are flirting with him or her? 

Next time: Continue with HOW DO I DEAL WITH SEXUAL HARASSMENT?

From the jw.org publications