Dealing With In-Laws

WHAT YOU CAN DO

If you and your spouse are at odds over an in-law situation, work to resolve issues in a spirit of cooperation.  Follow the Bible's advice to 'seek peace and pursue it." -Psalm 34:14. 

To help you do that, consider the following scenarios.  Each is presented from the perspective of either the husband or the wife. However, the challenges really apply to either gender, and the principles discussed can help you resolve a number of in-law issues. 

* Your wife says she wishes you had a better relationship with her mother.  But you find her mother difficult to deal with. 

Try this: Discuss the problem with your wife, and be willing to make concessions.  The issue is, not how you feel about your mother-in-law, but how you feel about your spouse-the person whom you have vowed to love.  Come away from  the discussion with one or two specific ways that you could improve your relationship with her mother, and then follow through.  As your wife notices your efforts, her respect for you will undoubtedly grow. -Bible principle;  1 Corinthians 10:24. 

* Your husband says that you are more interested in pleasing your parents than in pleasing him. 

Try this: Discuss the problem with your husband, and try to see it from his point of view. Of course, your husband should not feel threatened if you are simply giving due honor to your parents. (Proverbs 23:22) Still, you might need  to reassure him-by your words and actions-that he comes before  your parents in your life.  If you husband has that confidence, he will be less likely  to feel that he is competing with your parents for your attention. -Bible principle:  Ephesians 5:33.

* Your wife goes to her parents for advice rather than to you.

Try this:  Talk with your wife, and reach and agreement on where the boundaries should be set. Strive to be reasonable. Is it always wrong to talk to a parent about a concern?  When might it be appropriate?  If you both agree on reasonable boundaries, this issue does not have to be a problem. -Bible principle: Philippians 4:5. 

Next time:THE BIBLE'S VIEWPOINT/GAMBLING 

From the AWAKE! magazine, 2015