HELP FOR THE FAMILY/MARRIAGE

How to Apologize

THE CHALLENGE 
You and your spouse have just had an argument. 'I don't need to apologize,' you tell yourself. 'I'm not the one who started it!'

You drop the issue, but the tension lingers. You reconsider apologizing, but you cannot bring yourself to say those simple words "I'm sorry."

WHY IT HAPPENS 

Pride. "Sometimes, it's hard to say 'I'm sorry' because my  ego gets in the way," admits a husband named Charles. Inordinate pride can make you  too embarrassed to acknowledge your share of the blame. 

Viewpoint.  You might feel that an apology is in order only if you are responsible  for the problem. A wife name Jill say:  "When I know I'm a hundred percent at fault, It's easy to say 'I'm sorry.' But when we both said things we regret, it's difficult. I mean, why should I apologize if both of us messed up?" 

You might feel even more justified if you feel that what happened  was entirely your spouse's fault.  "When you genuinely believe that you haven't done anything wrong," says a husband named Joseph, "withholding an apology becomes a way of declaring your innocence." 

Upbringing. Perhaps you were raised in a household where apologies were seldom uttered. If so, you may not have learned to own up to your mistakes. Having had little practice as a child, offering sincere apologies as an adult has never become your habit. 

Next time: HELP FOR THE FAMILY/MARRIAGE - WHAT YOU CAN DO

From the AWAKE!  magazine, 2015